I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Butt muffins

My Auntie Amy is so very clever, as she decided that we pets who love to shit ourselves are really just baking up some butt muffins for our humans. Hah!

Mommy loved the idea and had planned on holding me up over trick-or-treaters' bags last night, but she got home from work too late and missed all the assholes who were assaulting our doors, looking for candy that they could very well have bought at the drugstore for a coupla bucks and a whole lot less effort.

Now, Mommy's not totally mean -- she'd give good chocolate to people who put forth an effort. But for the teenagers and adults who dress up as assclowns without even putting on a mask, she thought lumps of shit would be appropriate.

But, alas, the holiday season is upon us, so perhaps I shall stuff some butt muffins into everyone's Christmas stockings. Lord knows I hide enough in Mommy's stockings that she leaves on the floor after a hard day's work!!! ;)