I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Butt muffins

My Auntie Amy is so very clever, as she decided that we pets who love to shit ourselves are really just baking up some butt muffins for our humans. Hah!

Mommy loved the idea and had planned on holding me up over trick-or-treaters' bags last night, but she got home from work too late and missed all the assholes who were assaulting our doors, looking for candy that they could very well have bought at the drugstore for a coupla bucks and a whole lot less effort.

Now, Mommy's not totally mean -- she'd give good chocolate to people who put forth an effort. But for the teenagers and adults who dress up as assclowns without even putting on a mask, she thought lumps of shit would be appropriate.

But, alas, the holiday season is upon us, so perhaps I shall stuff some butt muffins into everyone's Christmas stockings. Lord knows I hide enough in Mommy's stockings that she leaves on the floor after a hard day's work!!! ;)

7 Comments:

At 11:09 AM, Blogger A.McSholty said...

I'm sure your butt muffins will be just as coveted during the Thanksgiving and Christmas season as they would have been on Halloween. After all, the holidays are just full of "chocolate." Heh.

 
At 2:46 AM, Anonymous Sylvester said...

My Mommy was getting tired of parents opening their purses the other night. She had 115 kids who got bags and the parents wanted candy for NOT dressing up. Whatever! I decided to leave poop streaks on the kitchen floor as my own way of showing my disgust. Just so I could support Mommy of course!

 
At 12:28 AM, Blogger Barb said...

Dear Miss Maddie,

Hopper baked some butt muffins on Saturday. Baked them right on a blankie sitting on the bed I was lying it at the time. I could smell them baking, too. I hoped that she was letting them cool in the litterbox out in the hallway, but no. She decided to give them to me fresh out of the oven.

Signed,
Barb

 
At 9:01 PM, Blogger Diva Kitty said...

HA - butt muffins!

 
At 9:35 AM, Blogger Sub Girl said...

oh, you salty kitty.

 
At 10:46 AM, Blogger Princess Buttercup said...

Ha! My cat, Darla, was sitting on my lap as I perused morning blogs so i clicked on this blog 'for her' and found it quite amusing. She got bored (or maybe this reminded her of the new butt muffin she was going to make me as a special gift) and pranced off in a flurry of fur, but I think she liked it nonetheless. She makes a Halloween appearance on my blog along with her big brother, Simba.

 
At 9:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ha ha lol

 

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