I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Tuesday, March 27, 2007


My food, bitches
Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn.
F to the U to the D to the G to the E, damn it!

I have officially shit on every square inch of space in our apartment, so now that it's time to move, I feel complete!

I think Mommy's just jealous that I am so full of fiber that I can void my bowels up to twice a day, wherever I see fit. Every day is like Easter in our house -- Mommy wakes up, smells my freshly-laid pooh egg, and has to find it -- before she has coffee! Oh, wild times here at Pooh Corner, I tell you!

I know I should watch myself, lest she go to the pet store and start buying that rat-poison-laden food that everyone else is returning. But hey, if it makes me crap even more, all the better! :)

Friday, March 02, 2007

Shit streak

I know, I normally brag about all the shit streaks I leave on the carpet, but this week? I'm on a shit streak -- literally!

Three nights ago, I crapped in Mommy's shoes. Two nights ago, I crapped all over her important paperwork. And last night, I took a big, wet, sloppy, watery shit in the pants she wore to work yesterday. I'm on a roll!!!

Wonder where I can shit tonight?!?!