I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Bowling ball with a tail

At our old apartment, the bathroom faucet constantly ran. It didn't always, but after Mommy turned it on so many times for Kadi and me to drink from, the cold water never quite stopped dripping. But hell, we didn't pay for water, so we didn't care. And Mommy's a lazy-ass, so she didn't feel obligated to bend over and fill our water bowl too frequently because it's like we had a babbling brook in our bathroom.

At our new house, she pays for water, so the bitch is stingy with it. Every morning and every evening, when she goes into the human litterbox, I spring into action and hope that THIS will be the time the bitch finally turns on the faucet. She's been getting better about ensuring we have a fresh bowl of water with our meals, but it's not the same.

And every time I puff up and screw up all my strength to hop my fat furry ass up into the sink basin, I am disappointed. She simply flushes and walks into the kitchen to wash her hands, as I am in her way. Maybe two or three times, tops, in three weeks have we been able to drink from the sink.

Anyway, Mommy was up early today and wasn't in the mood for kitty antics, as let's face it, that's what GETS her up at unreasonable hours. ;) And there I was, getting ready to make the big leap onto the sink when the bitch was fast enough to put a line of hair product bottles in a row at the edge of the sink. And while I saw them, I ddin't care. So I jumped up with all my might and sent all the cans flying. And that's how I became a "bowling ball with a tail" -- Mommy's hoping that with this strike, I know I'm out.

Screw her, man. That scared the SHIT out of me! I think I pooped a little in the pile of undies she'd left on the bathroom floor. ... Heh.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

In the wee small hours of the morning ...

... Kadi disappeared! UPDATE: Mommy found her!

Mommy's combed the house and walked around our new neighborhood. We last saw Kadi at her food dish around "American Idol" time last night. We think that Kadi might have jumped off the balcony, because she's not here anywhere.

Kadi's never done anything like this. She might drive me nuts, sure, but she's always played outside very nicely.

I don't know what to do. Mommy looks sick and sad and we're new to this neighborhood, so no one knows we're here. We're indoor cats, so this isn't supposed to happen! I don't know how I can help.

I hope she comes back. Maybe Mommy will be happy again.

I miss you, little sister.