Caterwauling

Dear Cell Phone Company:

Love, Dawn

On iTunes: Coolio, “Gangsta’s Paradise”

OK, before this entry goes any further, I want everyone to stand up and cheer, “Yay Tiff!” because Tiff gave me the best Christmas present ever. And then some! *mwah!*

So I was telling Tiff a story today about my awesome day with Ted yesterday, and it occurred to us that there was a blogstory in there somewhere. 😉 Over a loving homemade dinner, it was realized that, alas, we had no vegetable. So Liz declared that cookies would be our vegetables! And we had several tins overflowing with snickerdoodles and maccaroons and chips of every kind to serve as our veggies. It was like every kid’s dream! I even got to take some home, with a travel container of soup. Mmm, heavenly!

Anyway, the kindness of friends is keeping me warm today, so thanks, dolls!

On iTunes: Debbie Boone, “You Light Up My Life”

Do not, under any circumstances, enter Wal-Mart this week. I stopped by last night for kitty litter and was in line for AN HOUR. I opted to wait for a cashier rather than doing the self-checkout thing, and it was a wise decision, because I got out a half hour before the guy next to me in line did. Even for those of us who are adept at scanning our own items, the machines go nuts and must be serviced at least twice per transaction.

Wanted to thank Ted and his lovely family for entertaining me all day yesterday and feeding me reams of fresh-from-the-oven homemade cookies and chicken-enchilada soup and barbecue. Mmm, mmm. It was wonderful spending time with such an incredible group of people when my own family is so far away!

I can’t believe it’s Christmas already. I just hope that, at the last minute, Santa Claus remembers to add a few of us to his list that he’d seemingly forgotten about. May the year 2005 arrive quickly and efficiently and bring us the joy we’ve struggled so hard to uncover this time around!

On iTunes: Juice Newton, “The Sweetest Thing”

Mental exhaustion is setting in. Need a minor hiatus from blogging. Visit the fine folks listed in the right-hand column under “Santa’s Helpers” for some weekend entertainment!

I couldn’t let a whole day go by without posting something. Today, it’s a meme perpetuated from the lovely Groove Bunny.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Savannah
2. Samantha
3. “Dawnie” (only for Mom and my friend Dawn. Others will not live if this word dare escapes their lips!)

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. dcwriterdawn
2. cavalier74
3. dawn10194

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. My spunk
2. I have green eyes
3. I am book smart and street smart — so many people are one or the other

THREE THINGS YOU HATE/DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. I let my gym membership collect dust yet it drains my account every month
2. I procrastinate. Like, a lot. I may tell you more about it someday!
3. I fluctuate between never worrying or worrying too much. I guess it all equals out eventually!

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Irish
2. British
3. Italian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Money — the lack thereof
2. People with bad intentions
3. Not having all of my dreams come true

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. E-mail/Internet
2. My car
3. Cosmetics … and plenty of ’em!

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Lavender Old Navy tee
2. Lavender, pink and light blue plaid pajama bottoms
3. Scandalous boyshorts 😉

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS (or artists(at the moment)):
1. Bon Jovi
2. Gwen Stefani
3. Melissa Etheridge

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT:
1. “You Can Sleep While I Drive” — Melissa Etheridge
2. “Fallen From Graceland” — Richie Sambora
3. “School Night” — Ani DiFranco

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. Feeling alive again
2. Reacquainting myself with the elliptical at Bally’s
3. Exposing my heart to anyone who might want it. I have kept it protected for as long as I can remember. I need a new sensation other than fear.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Space. Don’t smother me but don’t ignore me either.
2. Trust. Let me do my thing and you do your thing but let it all be on the up-and-up.
3. Dependability. If everybody’s game, then let’s all give it 100 percent. I don’t need to feel alone when I’m with someone.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE
1. I don’t mind country music and I am currently listening to an old Barbara Mandrell song (“Crackers”) — LOL
2. I expect to be telling my life story on “Oprah” and writing my autobiography and its accompanying screnplay (and soundtrack!) someday.
3. I don’t plan to get cable again.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX (or same) THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. Eyes — sultry or sparkling, it doesn’t matter. I just know how to read people through their eyes.
2. Height. Please be taller than me. I have never felt safe in my life, and I want to be near somebody who might actually stand a chance at making me feel protected.
3. Hands. Not just “big” hands. LOL. Don’t be afraid to touch me. I won’t break, honest! And I’m sick of opening my own jars and fixing things that break … I’d adore it if someone could swoop in and be my hero on occasion!

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO WITHOUT:
1. Batteries
2. Coffee
3. My trendy BeBe glasses. ‘Cause I’m farsighted and can’t see crap without them!

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. Blogging (duh!)
2. Making jewelry — just made a tiger’s eye necklace because of the stone’s power to get you through transitional states.
3. Chatting … you should see my phone bills! I really need to get my mom on the same cell phone network.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Know the answers to all the questions that puzzle me.
2. I’ve always wanted to combine poetry and paintings — I’d love to pick up a brush and a pen and create something I’d be proud of.
3. I really want to read a book but I have other things I need to do (which I am avoiding by blogging. Heh).

THREE CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING:
1. Life coach
2. Writing instructor
3. Novelist

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Europe (Italy and France are high priorities)
2. New York City
3. Any random secluded beach getaway

THREE KID NAMES
1. Are
2. You
3. Kidding?!?!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Fall in love. It has yet to happen but I don’t want to give up hope just yet!
2. Love awakening every single morning because I’m fulfilling my dreams and purpose in life.
3. Celebrate New Year’s in Times Square (or any special event, for that matter) … with someone special.

On iTunes: Gwen Stefani, “Bubble Pop Electric”

Dear Santa:

It’s been years since I’ve written, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need a little holiday magic to get me through the season. I need a lot of magic, actually. Even naughty girls need love, too!

Love, Dawn

On iTunes: Bon Jovi, “I Believe”

At a party Dave and I attended on Sunday, there was a very pregnant gal there in a gorgeous stretch blue velvet party dress and black suede high-heeled boots that came up to her knees. I was kidding around with her, telling her that this is the one time in her life that she can be caught in public in sneakers and comfy clothes, but there she was, looking fabulous. Her response? “I’ve been waiting all year to wear these boots, and damn it, I’m wearing them!”

She was awesome — she said her friends joke with her, asking where she gets her “slutty maternity clothes.” She says she isn’t bothering with maternity wear, in favor of wearing what she wants and taking advantage of the generous cleavage being with child has given her. I couldn’t help smiling when she spoke. If only we all could appreciate the situations we are in and use them to our advantage so beautifully.

It was a great lesson for me to not save my party clothes or, for that matter, my spirit, for special occasions. I’ve got a fabulous dress in the closet just waiting to be worn — think it would be odd if I donned it to go to the post office? 😉

On iTunes: Pretenders, “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”

Attitude is everything. Duh, I know you know that. But do we ever believe it?

I’m not dishing details because I don’t want to jinx anything. Not that there is a lot to tell. But it is truly amazing when you awaken and say, “This is going to be my week,” and then all signs start to point in that very direction.

The road is still a difficult one, and the journey is far from over. But you can’t fear mitigating circumstances all your life, either, or you’ll travel in circles instead of shooting upward. And sometimes, even staying on course is just as good as moving on, although cruise control was never my speed and I never intend for it to be. What you have to do is take the crappy, sappy music off the stereo and get some upbeat, ass-kicking rhythms back into your soul. I’ve often said the universe provides, but whether or not I particularly believed it is anybody’s guess. But I decided to believe in it, mostly because I ran out of other options. And it’s not too shabby, having a heart lightened by hope.

I have a story to tell. It took place in the early 1990s in Pittsburgh’s Market Square. It was the summertime, and I ran into a man who did maintenance work at my college. His name was Hal. He was always pleasant and soft-spoken. When I saw him on that late afternoon, he and I had a phenomenal conversation, whereupon he told me that I am a “chosen one.” I’ve often pondered this and never came up with what that meant. I do know that he pounded it into my head that I wasn’t meant to be understood but that I was meant to accomplish superhuman feats. He’d been psychic in his day and tried to suppress the imagery because he knew a child was going to die and it ripped him apart when the vision came true. And that he didn’t know me from anything other than seeing me hanging around in the cafe, studying and smoking, I thought he might be onto something. And I want his vision for me to come true. For those who are wondering, Hal died unexpectedly a few weeks after we talked. Crushed me the way the dark psychic images tormented him.

Thinking about him was one huge contributor in my discovering my faith again — my faith in humanity, in goodness and justice, in the sunrise coming after the sunset, in the ways of the muses and the universe and, most importantly, in me again. Because I have a world to change, apparently, so let’s get that party started, and soon!

On iTunes: Gwen Stefani, “Serious”

Dear WJLA-TV:

Love, Dawn

On iTunes: Gwen Stefani, “Hollaback Girl”

The weather had been inordinately gloomy of late — it’s just been dismal, with rain and fog o’plenty. If it’s going to rain, then let it thunderstorm. Get it the hell overwith already — rain like you mean it, Mother Nature! No more of this “I’m going to torture you slowly” crap. I get enough of that from life. 😉

I feel like the seasons are affecting me more — bleak skies have intensified my case of the blahs. I suddenly “get” why people flock to the southern states … seeing vibrant citrus peels and wildflowers and rays of warm sunlight has to do wonders for one’s mentality. I have a friend who is literally addicted to colors — so much so that she recently planted flowers at midnight just so she could awaken and have them greet her on the way out of the house the next morning. It’s like color can set the tone of your day. Cosmopolitan tells us to wear orange when we want to feel upbeat. I personally wear a lot of hunter or kelly green because A) it’s my eye color and B) it’s the color of money. And that’s all that’s ever on my mind, anyway, of late.

I paid myself a compliment today, though. It’s not something I do much of anymore, but I remembered someone in authority once told me that I do everything the hard way — and she didn’t mean it as a compliment. She was intimidated, probably, of the thoroughness with which I tackled everything. And I kind of laughed about it today, realizing that I execute my screw-ups with fevor as well — I don’t just mess up a little bit, instead going for the f-up of the 14-karat variety! But that’s not the compliment — the real props I gave to myself were that I really never did take the easy route, even when it was apparent to me. I took chances and soared; I’ve also taken chances and landed splat on my face. But no matter what the situation, I didn’t do it half-assed. 🙂

Lately, I don’t have enough energy to do anything to the utmost of my ability, though, and I need to get out of my head and change that pronto. Someone (who didn’t even know me!) told me quite snarkily yesterday that I seem like my confidence is shot. And it kind of kicked me in the ass, like, no — I don’t show my “true” feelings that way. I am pleasant to cashiers and bank tellers and post office workers … nobody needs to know what’s happening inside my head. I wish them a happy holiday even though I’m having anything but.

However, when I do get out of the labrynth of my mind, I see the puzzle pieces trying so hard to come together. I’m not 100 percent sold on the “everything happens for a reason” idea, but I do accept wholeheartedly that everything happens to lead you to other things — hopefully, better ones. I mean, I can’t count the acts of kindness that come to me every time I start losing faith — it’s like the universe’s way of telling me to not give up because nobody has given up on me. Prime example: I asked a friend if he could help me with something. Although he couldn’t help as requested, he actually went and found someone who could help me, laying the groundwork so that I could swoop in and pick up the opportunity. And I realized that I may not have a lot of things I’m seeking right now, but I’ve got a pretty terrific cheering section. And I’ve been on the damn bleachers long enough — I just need to figure out a way to get the coaches to let me play again … it’s time to win for a change!

On iTunes: Gwen Stefani, “What You Waiting For 2004 (DJ Chaos Breakbeat Remix)”