Caterwauling

OK, so I am broker than broke, but I paid rent today. And Mom gave me the money to pay my car insurance this month, so I won’t have my policy suspended again for another late payment. Hurrah! It’s amazing how well I can breathe when my major worries are taken care of. The problem is, they’re done for the month and will creep up again in way too short a time.

I’m trying so hard to keep that fresh feeling about the New Year being a clean slate and a time for new beginnings. Angie and I decided, though, that maybe we should just look at Chinese New Year as our new year later this month — it’s too hard right now to be peaceful and positive and all goal-setting and shit when we’re all stressed out from being poor and tired from holidays that were anything but. I swear, most of us need a vacation to recuperate from this recent holiday season!

In any event, I am not starting any resolutions till Chinese New Year. Really, I think that’s a brilliant idea on our parts — the problem with resolutions in general is that you make them, fully intending to start/stop doing something on a day (Jan. 1) that is simply a continuation of the previous day (Dec. 31), not a brand new day, in and of itself. I mean, how do you quit smoking on Jan. 1, when you were puffing like a fiend at 11:57 p.m. on New Year’s Eve? And it’s pointless to say, “I’m going to eat more healthily or I’m going to consume less alcohol or I’m going to act my age” when you’ve got a plateful of Sweet Lebanon bologna (nods to Shawn) and a fridgeful of leftover cookies/snacks (looks in mirror) and a lampshade on your head (*looks innocent*) when the ball hits Times Square and champagne glasses start clinking.

As for me, be it resolved that I will quit smoking when I turn 30. But because I shall remain 29 for at least the next five years, I’ve got PLENTY of time to stop! *wink*

Just spent two nights in Pittsburgh (totally unexpected jaunt) and lots of nights on the couch. Ergh. Just took one of my remaining Percocet to soothe my aching back.

On Friday, I spent 12 solid hours driving. No kidding. I was so lost in D.C., and I drove straight into a cop trap. A cop looked in my car and decided to let me through, but he did pull aside the Middle Eastern man in front of me. *whew* Like I had time to waste. The drive back was about five hours or so — through torrential downpours in three states and fog thicker than the smoke in my apartment during any given party. I was able to unwind this evening wtih Shawn, though, for the newest episode of “Sex and the City.”

How I spent my New Year: eating, boozing, chain-smoking and sitting my ass in the car for another whirlwind trip. If how you ring in the New Year is truly the indicator of how the rest of your year is going to go, then I will be in a whirlwind motion for the rest of 2004. Even when I sleep, I feel like I’m moving — I dream about driving and my legs and arms are constantly twitching.

Kadi managed to trash the house during the 48 hours I was AWOL. What the hell IS it with her and ripping everything off the fridge and countertops? Although I must admit she has been adorable with fetching coffee stirrers. She is one of the rare cats who plays fetch, and stirrers are her new favorite toys.

*yawn* Percocet is kicking in. Work starts tomorrow — I hope the warm, fuzzy “It’s a new year — hurrah! I’m going to make big changes” feeling doesn’t dissipate the second I drag my ass into that building sometime around 9 a.m.

And it ain’t over yet.

Executive summary:

1. Shannon got into a car accident on the way to meet Leslie and me for breakfast.

2. We saw four car accidents on the way out of Crystal City. One of the accidents involved a nurse who works at the emergency care center Shan went to to have her injuries checked.

3. My directions to Union Station from Mapquest were WRONG so Leslie missed her bus.

4. Amtrak didn’t have anything timely leaving either; thus

5. I am going to be heading to Pittsburgh.

See you when I get back.

Jesus H.

I have put on 14 pounds since HALLOWEEN! Holy fucking Christmas, no wonder I can’t fit into anything.

After I got out of the hospital in September, I put on 15 pounds from the I.V. fluids alone. Tons of cranberry juice later, I took off the weight and then some, and I bought a bunch of skirts in a smaller size. Now, I am wearing my “big” clothes, and even they are squeezing the damn stuffing out of me. Fuck.

Had a lovely New Year’s party at Bryan and Paul’s yesterday. They made the most amazing spareribs, kielbasa and sauerkraut, garlic potatoes, etc. And, of course, there was a divine chocolate cream cake from Whole Foods for dessert. Not to mention an unlimited supply of wine. I felt like one of those old Weebles, sitting on the couch, leaning over in a weird mixture of ecstasy and agony.

I have a veritable shitload of leftovers from my party in the fridge. I have the makings for at least another 60 pigs in a blanket, about 400 crackers’ worth of my cheddar/bacon/horseradish dip and enough cookies to make the entire country of Ethiopia obese.

This, my friends, is why I find it IMPOSSIBLE to have New Year’s resolutions. You just can’t start them on Day One — you just have to make a commitment to move toward not eating (and cooking!) like the world’s about to end and you must hide rations in your little bomb shelter (only in Dawn’s bomb shelter, you will be bombed … with the full bar of alcohol and boxes of wine I have ready!)

Unrelated, I can’t believe I’m up and showered at this hour. Leslie and I didn’t leave Bryan and Paul’s till after midnight (hours after everyone else departed) and we stayed up till at least 2 a.m., talking about the book for which Leslie will kick my ass if I don’t write. 🙂 She leaves today, which is such a bummer, because I have had loads of fun. We only see each other around the holidays (although if I ever hit the lottery, I will meet her in Dublin, Ireland, post-haste!), but even she said it — it’s like no time has even passed since the last time we hung out.

It was really a wonderful New Year’s. Truly awesome. We called our mutual friend Chris in Minnesota (who introduced us), and it was ridiculously nice to have that connection among all of us again (even though I was cooking/cleaning like a madwoman and couldn’t stay on the phone long). Things change so much from year to year, and we’re not all as close as we like to be, but the love all we have for each other never really reduces in its intensity. That’s comforting to have, in this crazy world. And I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing people at (nearly) all times.

May your new year be as bright as mine is shaping up to be! *clinks glasses, even if it’s only a coffee cup*

Leslie and I just woke up and are nursing some Starbucks Christmas blend coffee and watching the “I Love the ’80s Strikes Back” marathon.

Party went perfectly. I’ll post photos at a later time. This was Kadi’s first party not being caged, and she behaved rather well, although Shawn kept scaring the shit out of her with my various noisemakers and horns.

At midnight, we drank lots of champagne and ran out onto my balcony with our noisemakers. We were whooping and shouting and, well, waking up the neighborhood. The parking lot was overflowing as usual, but NOBODY was awake!!! We were the only people outside, and of course, the only apartment that was all lit up. Heh. Yep, all the crazy drunks congregate under my roof, and we love every minute of it!

Bryan and Paul have invited us over for the traditional pork festival — you know, good luck and all (which we all need desperately!). Of course, they had their own little pork festival in my bathroom shortly after midnight — damn it, I can’t believe I wasn’t the first person to have sex (with a partner, let’s make that clear!) in my own apartment!!!

In any event, I’m tired and must return to the coffee pot. How was YOUR New Year? Hope it was a splendid one!

Only 14 hours and 14 minutes till this shitty year draws to a close. woo hoo!

First things first: tunage. I dedicate this one to all the single people out there: New Year’s Eve.

I have a billion things to do today, as do you, so I thank you for your readership, your comments, your suggestions for content and your encouragement. I will have a drink in your honor (yes, that means all of you!). So have a drink or 10 for me, OK? *clink* Cheers!

OK, I am only having a teeny tiny lil get-together, but you know me, I prepare like I’m having the queen of England and her posse over for cocktails and food. 🙂

I’m in the midst of making my fabulous apricot brandy punch and I’ll throw together a cheese log sometime before the night is over. I did a few loads of laundry but still have about four more to do. Ergh. And let’s not talk about all the dusting that needs to be done. But then again, the “real” party for me is the cleaning up afterward!!!

Leslie arrives tomorrow. Here’s to hoping I can find her when she arrives in D.C.! We need to get her hooked up with Shan at some point — finally, my two Irish princesses in a room together at long last!!!

And here’s to the end of another shitty year. w00t!!! Happy New Year to all, and to all a good night of drinking champagne and eating good food!!!

Subtitle: In which my flakes are sufficiently frosted and my ass is magically covered

RC made a good point today, that this week at work should have just been furloughed. I sincerely can’t come up with an argument on that one. The few of us who are here are literally sitting with our thumbs up our asses. I mean, I’ve cleaned my office, cleaned my hard drive, ripped/burned dozens of CDs, gone shopping and had intense discussions with Shan about nothing in particular. I should’ve just taken vacation time.

As far as furloughs, my idea is that we should, for a year, just reduce the workweek by two hours instead of killing off days at a time (next days: Jan. 9 and Jan. 16, not to mention having Jan. 19 as a paid day off). Those are three days I will need to be in the office to do the paper. But I have no problem leaving the office a little bit early each day — honestly, I tend to want to slit my wrists sometime around 1 p.m. Eastern time anyway, so shaving off a few minutes each day would make me way happier.

I was just thinking how there is literally one good thing at each of my jobs. It’s like building the perfect mate: you want to take the good qualities of a bunch of people instead of just settling for one with some redeeming qualities. At Easter Seals, I was ridiculously passionate about the cause. At Two Strikes, I loved how progressive it was, particularly in regard to employee wellness (i.e., we shut down every other Thursday at 3 so we could do our doctor’s appointments or get our nails done). Here, I like the freedom — people really do tend to leave me alone to do my thing. I would like to have all of those qualities in one job. I haven’t had passion for a cause since 2000, and ultimately, that’s a major reason I failed at my last job — I had the skills but not the heart, and everybody knew it.

It’s a lotta ass to cover, but I did it

In good news, I got some people in trouble yesterday. Normally, I would rather just fix the mistake and keep on going, but I am going to blow this one wide open. I got a call on Saturday from the publisher, stating that my magazines were literally sitting at the post office, waiting to be mailed. Why? Because my company never sent the postage check. See, we had a knock-down, drag-out fight months ago when I was told I could no longer hand-deliver checks, and I was promised that there would be no interruption in my process. Well, I got the call while I was in Pittsburgh, and I couldn’t resolve it till yesterday.

I was nervous that I hadn’t even requested the money, but not only did I request it, I also made a note that the post office needed to have received the money by Dec. 19. So here it was, Dec. 29, and the check was found sitting on someone’s desk. Of course, she’s going to catch hell from her supervisor. But as far as I can tell, she left it sitting on her desk on Dec. 24 — why wasn’t it mailed on the 17th? Because it wasn’t cut on time, that’s why. So I had to drive the check out to Bumfuck Egypt so that the paper could be mailed. Yes, after I busted my ass to get the fucker out the door before Christmas — all my rushing was for nothing.

I found out that the check for the print shop was also ready but not signed. So one of the gals in finance had to run around like a moron, trying to find two authorized signers. The weirdest positions are allowed to sign checks — I can’t do it, as a manager, but the dipshit who delivers the mail and my boss’s bland secretary can sign. Problem was, we couldn’t find anybody for hours. So the checks arrived late, but they did arrive. And I took the afternoon off to go to the mall, seeing as though I was already inconvenienced. Yes, I always make the best of a bad situation, but I do look forward to telling my boss about this debacle — she has nothing else to do but create trouble, and I’m glad to give her that little something to do. 😉

I’m in a minor cleaning frenzy this evening. The apartment is in an emergency state. I figured I’d let the kitties have at it while I was gone, but playtime’s over. Time to get the skid marks outta the carpet and try to make the place party-time presentable.

Kadi’s in her cage, and both kitties are happily snacking on turkey while I nuke the bathroom. I’ve developed an obsession with changing the shower liner every two or three weeks. Of course, Kadi uses it as a scratching post and rips holes in it daily. She also likes to eat the bathroom rugs, and there are always dark blue pieces of fabric littering the floor.

I’m not catering this soiree like the last one. I have tons of cookies and alcohol. I may toss together a spinach dip or something, but about 70 loads of laundry need to come first. And the car looks like I drove it to to the North Pole, it has so much salt and other crap from the highways on it.

Next Christmas, Bryan and Paul have sworn to rent me a maid for a day. I think they should just rent ME out and let me earn some money cleaning like a maniac for other people!

Damn it, what the HELL did I do with my Swiffer?!?!

Rejected title: Better late than pregnant

1. What was your biggest accomplishment this year?

Securing my promotion and handling it like a champ with next to no staff. It’s always nice when people say, “Gosh, I just don’t know HOW you managed to do that job all by yourself for so long!” I have an amazing portfolio that I can’t wait to share with potential future employers! 😉

2. What was your biggest disappointment?

Depends. My biggest disappointment with myself is that I had about four million ideas for businesses I’d like to start, and I didn’t have the necessary discipline to actually put a single plan in motion. My biggest disappointment with (some) others was because of some of their actions that really, really hurt me. And the lack of apologies really burned my toast. I mean, are people that fucking stupid that they didn’t know that they were trampling on my heart?

3. What do you hope the new year brings?

Inner peace and outer beauty.

4. Will you be making any New Year’s resolutions? If yes, what will they be?

I have always been pretty balls-to-the-wall, say-what-you-feel-whenever-you-feel-it, but I made a resolution last year to introduce tact into that quality. And I’ve succeeded somewhat — I have cultivated this amazing ability to say exactly what I want to say at the exact moment I want to say it, and I can leave people not knowing if they were just insulted or complimented. That, my friends, is a gift that I don’t mind having.

BUT …

I have lost some of my assertiveness, and I WANT IT BACK. There are several fights I could should have picked this year, and I either walked away from or simply downplayed my reaction to the things that irritated me. I kind of justified this as not caring enough to find out what the fuck the other person was thinking when they did/said whatever incensed me. I always hope that people will go away and think about what they did to cause me to want them out of my life, but that’s too passive-aggressive for me — I should take some small amount of joy in telling someone that he or she was a complete fucking asshole and that reparations need to be made. But when I get burned, I shut my heart down where that person is concerned. It takes a lot to make me become numb, but when I reach that point, there is no return. Ever.

In any event, I want to be more assertive in the new year. Damn it. 🙂

5. What are your plans for New Year’s Eve?

I’ll be hosting a get-together for a few other wayward souls. And let me tell you, this is the one time of year that I absolutely DESPISE being single and having no one to kiss at midnight (this year being another shining example), so I choose to surround myself with amazing friends to remind me that I really do have a lot of love in my life.