14 pounds

Jesus H.

I have put on 14 pounds since HALLOWEEN! Holy fucking Christmas, no wonder I can’t fit into anything.

After I got out of the hospital in September, I put on 15 pounds from the I.V. fluids alone. Tons of cranberry juice later, I took off the weight and then some, and I bought a bunch of skirts in a smaller size. Now, I am wearing my “big” clothes, and even they are squeezing the damn stuffing out of me. Fuck.

Had a lovely New Year’s party at Bryan and Paul’s yesterday. They made the most amazing spareribs, kielbasa and sauerkraut, garlic potatoes, etc. And, of course, there was a divine chocolate cream cake from Whole Foods for dessert. Not to mention an unlimited supply of wine. I felt like one of those old Weebles, sitting on the couch, leaning over in a weird mixture of ecstasy and agony.

I have a veritable shitload of leftovers from my party in the fridge. I have the makings for at least another 60 pigs in a blanket, about 400 crackers’ worth of my cheddar/bacon/horseradish dip and enough cookies to make the entire country of Ethiopia obese.

This, my friends, is why I find it IMPOSSIBLE to have New Year’s resolutions. You just can’t start them on Day One — you just have to make a commitment to move toward not eating (and cooking!) like the world’s about to end and you must hide rations in your little bomb shelter (only in Dawn’s bomb shelter, you will be bombed … with the full bar of alcohol and boxes of wine I have ready!)

Unrelated, I can’t believe I’m up and showered at this hour. Leslie and I didn’t leave Bryan and Paul’s till after midnight (hours after everyone else departed) and we stayed up till at least 2 a.m., talking about the book for which Leslie will kick my ass if I don’t write. 🙂 She leaves today, which is such a bummer, because I have had loads of fun. We only see each other around the holidays (although if I ever hit the lottery, I will meet her in Dublin, Ireland, post-haste!), but even she said it — it’s like no time has even passed since the last time we hung out.

It was really a wonderful New Year’s. Truly awesome. We called our mutual friend Chris in Minnesota (who introduced us), and it was ridiculously nice to have that connection among all of us again (even though I was cooking/cleaning like a madwoman and couldn’t stay on the phone long). Things change so much from year to year, and we’re not all as close as we like to be, but the love all we have for each other never really reduces in its intensity. That’s comforting to have, in this crazy world. And I am lucky to be surrounded by amazing people at (nearly) all times.

May your new year be as bright as mine is shaping up to be! *clinks glasses, even if it’s only a coffee cup*

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