Caterwauling

I got to telling someone the lore behind this blog.

Like that time some psycho reported this blog to his ex-employer and my soon-to-be-ex-employer.

I had called the CEO King Kumquat. Or, as they called it in “Voicemails for Isabelle,” an annoying, angry little Southeast Asian fruit.

Well, that angry little SE Asian fruit, Shan just told me, is the CEO of a garbage collection company in North Carolina now.

Yep, that sounds about right.

Garbage in, garbage out, garbage everywhere.

No matter how bad life has gotten at times, it was never any worse than working for him and old Pussy Demure.

I spend more money on food delivery than I care to admit.

Of course, I go spend $300 every Saturday on cat food, litter, furnace filters and whatever nonsense. And all I come home with is breakfast food.

So, I can forgive my absolute addiction to all things boba, matcha and mochi.

In any event, I’ve decided food delivery is like playing Santa Claus. I forget that I order, then future me is delighted that someone got me just what I wanted!

Now if only any of these drivers could work the call box outside this fortress. Just had to go out in my boo-kini and rescue the food from the front gate.

I was reading that Speidi spends like $10K on food delivery a month. And that Amber “Ambien” from Teen Mom spent like $34K a year on food delivery.

Like, I see my Mastercard with a couple hundred in the last month and I’m embarrassed. At least I got my fat ass dressed to run to Sugar Milk yesterday my damn self.

Imagine if I’d never gone to Japan and had no idea that I loved Ube, Taro, Matcha and bubble waffles.

And strawberry! For real, I was allergic to strawberries my whole life. But now I can have strawberry matcha and ice cream bars, and rather than rashes, it brings me joy.

No wonder I’m fat, god.

I’ll deal with that after I enjoy my pepperoni pizza bubble waffle from Gong Cha.