Caterwauling

Two words: Antonella Barba.

Two actions: Piercing my own eardrums with a letter opener, and throwing the bloody sword at the television.

Somehow, I cannot help but envision the microphone as a penis.

Like someone said about her, “I just don’t recognize her without a dick in her mouth.” And as I replied, with her in mind, “Some people do look much better with one.”

I was just fussing with my AIM settings, because I only have eleventy billion projects due before midnight and really, why the hell not?

And I learned that you can name people anything you want to. Which, heh. *rubs hands evilly* Just ’cause someone’s on your buddy list doesn’t mean that they’d ever *be* your BFF — I think we all have people we have our own lil nicknames for, and the temptation is just too great to assign them what you *really* call them.

That’s all we’d need, for an autoresponder to come up, “Sorry, (Oxygen Thief), but Goddess doesn’t want to talk to you — EVER”! *bonk*

I was also particularly interested in the “Alert Me When” feature. I do this in iChat but I didn’t realize AIM had added it. But I looked for “alert me when X buddy like, dies or something,” but it wasn’t an option. Bah. Maybe in the next version!

I was just watching “American Idol,” and there was a promo for “Fox News at 10.” Fuckin’ hysterical — they just did a blurb on the blowjob-giving whore, and the ad spot that immediately followed it? “Brought to you by Hummer.” Seriously, they couldn’t have planned that one any better!

That hoe-biscuit Antonella Barba is still on “American Idol.” Seriously!

Paula Abdul looks drugged, as usual. As I remarked to my new-favorite TV-watching buddy, “Paula makes Anna Nicole look lucid. And, for that matter, alive.”

Today’s horoscope — Gemini, daily extended (by Astrology.com):

Even if you will be surrounded by grownups all day, it might feel as though you are stuck in a kindergarten class. For instance, you can expect some petty behavior or even a tantrum when someone doesn’t get his or her way. Your first instinct will be to deal with this person compassionately, but there is no need for that. You can feel free to ignore, and move away from, this negative energy.

No, I don’t wanna be your friend. And definitely not just because you decided you need one, not because it had to be me personally but instead because I was the last one out of the sandbox that you peed in. *punch*

It’s ponderous, really, the lengths we go to, to save some. Yet, we don’t step up to the plate for the ones who are worth it.