Caterwauling

I had a terrific opportunity to rant, bitch and complain this evening. An invitation, even. And out of nowhere, I realized that I was perfectly fine.

Weird.

Funny how peace can be so unsettling sometimes. But maybe the so-called comfort so many of us find in chaos is just an oasis, because as long as everything’s a clusterfuck, at least it’s “business as usual.”

It was good to be OK. And not “OK, for a change,” like I usually default to saying.

Options, possibilities and the inner peace to get through, with or without them — that’s all a girl really needs.

That and sleep, so g’nite y’all!

Two thoughts for today:

1. Place A (in yesterday’s post about apartments) just called to tell me they’ll give me the month of March absolutely free and kick in a bay window with a view. Oh, and they’ll waive my application fee if I do it now.

2. To whom it concerns: SILENCE! I’m asking my higher power to help me to not hate you, you ignorant *****. But the ire, it rises. Increasingly.

Damn it.

The apartment complex I loved most (next to the most-expensive one) called today to say they have the perfect unit available, like, now. *sigh* I can’t break my effin’ lease, but this lovely apartment has a fireplace, and I don’t want to pass it up.

I have some other places to see this weekend, too. But if I had to pick my next place today, I’m between the pretty place (above) with the ideal layout or the way-cheap place out in East Jabip that is $160 less a month.

So basically:

Place A:

Great location
Fireplace
Beds/Baths separated by living area
Great staff/resident events

Place B:

Huge
Cheap
Free parking
Free cable

Damn it.

For the amount of digits in the rent checks from now on, why can’t I have it ALL?!?!

And just to throw the proverbial wrench into the works …

… I got a call telling me that a place where I’ve wanted to work has a job opening that I could be a contender for.

In another part of town, of course!

But you knew that already.

*thunk*

I was cleaning last night and found dried cat poop on the copy of my lease I had left on the floor. Grand — I’m so proud of Maddie. She likes to shit outside the box, and always on paperwork she deems unimportant.

I was looking at ApartmentRatings.com all weekend to get feedback on places I like and others I want to contact. It’s pretty much a dumping ground for dissatisfied tenants, and you can tell that the glowing reviews are from residence staff members who do not identify themselves as such.

Just for a reality check, I looked up the reviews for my own building, where I am actually very happy with my experience. And of course there were all kinds of scary, negative things that would have kept me from wanting to live here, but I found an interesting review from someone whose username is, oh, the same as the business manager’s. I of course called bullshit on her in a comment I posted — if you work at the building, fuckin’ say so, mmmkay?

I realize I’ve lucked out in that I’ve had quiet people living above and below me — the thing that scares me in moving from a 1BR to a 2BR is not only affording the goddamned thing, but also getting people with kids who live above me. Gah. Tiff and I lived in this one place where I had to hear the bedsprings of the couple’s bed (which seemed to be directly above mine) from 8 a.m. to 8:15 a.m. every Saturday, before their little hellion child ran into the room at 8:30 a.m. and proceeded to stomp around for two hours. (Some of us work late, you freaks.)

Anyway, beyond that I haven’t had any problems, but loose floorboards in these old-ass buildings do worry me. Usually, I’m the loudmouth in the building, as I am up screaming at the cats all night (like last night, so be nice to me today ’cause I’m TIRED!), so I suspect that when I can’t identify the problem tenant, chances are? It’s ME.

It’s another interesting thing I’ve learned — the noise, drama and vandalism seem to occur in the “family” sections of apartment buildings/complexes. Sure, you expect pint-sized brats to create a fuss, but it’s the teenagers who are out roaming the streets and stealing cars and painting profanities everywhere. Look, you can deal drugs if you must, but I insist that if you are? You share.

I was looking into what it would take to buy a condo. And it’s scary. Suppose your average 2BR/2BA condo goes for around $250,000. These realtors want 5% to 10% down. Now, they don’t call me Pittsburgh Barbie for nothin’, ’cause math makes my head swim, but I assure you I cannot come up with that many zeroes unless it’s in the dating realm.

Speaking of zeroes (as in, zero dollars), I am down to my last eight bucks, so I have this crazy goal of coming home at a reasonable time to cook dinner this week instead of grabbing overpriced food and taking it back to my desk. Which means I’ll probably get fired or something, because every time I swear I’m going to scale back on my hours, chaos erupts and something goes painfully wrong. And I’ll be sitting there hungry ’cause payday’s a looong way away!

And I’m going to pay more in rent? Sheesh. At this rate, I might never be able to afford furniture! And did I mention my beloved coffee pot just BROKE this morning?!?!

* Why the fuck did Paris Hilton think it was a good idea to stash her booty in a storage shed. Seriously? That mansion ain’t big enough or inaccessible enough to the public? GAWD. Did she want this crap to be seen by the masses?

* Apartment communities: “All utilities included! (except gas)” does NOT mean “All Utilities Included.”

* Renting a 2BR condo costs more than one net paycheck. Renting a 3BR condo costs $100 more. Jeez.

* I’m taking a hiatus from apartment-hunting, because after all the ones I’ve seen, I’m sort of liking the first one again.

* Is it wrong to wish someone would just die already so I can move to that part of town and not have to look at them?

* Never mind, there happen to be two others I hate in that area, too. Scratch that idea too. I can’t believe that, in a city of thousands, there’s only one person I regard as cool in it.

* If you’re looking at places like Rent.com and Apartments.com, their prices are slightly lower than the prices handed to you when you make an on-site visit. I would not have called some of the places I did if their low price of $X was actually $XX.

* And don’t tell me that it has washer-dryer hookups in the unit if I am not allowed to bring my own washer and dryer. (They supply them for an extra $100 a month.) Morons. Why pay $1,200 a year to rent a W/D combo when we’ve got a set that’s brand-new and paid off? GAH.

* I just got a thank-you card from a place I visited, which was the biggest and, comparatively, cheapest for all you get with the price. And it was from the same asshole who looked right at my pudgy pork roast ass and surmised, “You dont want to see the fitness room, do you?” Dick. And as a matter of fact, I DIDN’T!!!

* Prince is going to perform at the Super Bowl XLI halftime show, even though the last time the Chicago Bears made it to the biggest football game of the year (1985) was the last time the Purple One was actually popular!