Caterwauling

OK, by some freak of nature, Bon Jovi was on QVC last night — they did interviews during their soundcheck in San Jose, Calif., and later in the night, we got to see snippets of the concert (as the concert in D.C. was sold out, this was my only chance to see them live this year). Holy can-I-get-a-change-of-underwear Batman! That Jon can fill out a pair of leather pants like none other — I was weak in the knees, picturing those thighs wrapped around me. … 😉 *pant*

The QVC aspect kind of sucked, as they had to have *constant* commentary from two QVC hosts who were at the concert — the one girl talked through all the songs, and they kept taking the camera away from the band on the stage and showing live video of the CD/DVD they were hawking. Yes, they had the live concert going on in the background, and the CD was sitting on a ledge somewhere, and that’s what you mostly saw. It was pitiful.

I am, though, a proud new owner of said DVD/CD, although I will probably end up selling the CD online, as I already have it. I wasn’t able to order on their website (you bastards! catch up with the fucking technology and make it accessible for my computer!), so I had to call in and wait forever. I was hoping to be patched through to ask the band a question, as they were putting the most illiterate and gushy-girly types through, who only professed their love for the boys from New Jersey and had no questions. (I wanted to ask them about sponsoring a charity concert that would benefit my pet cause, Ribbon of Promise.) Oh well. I guess there was no room for literacy or intelligent life on QVC last evening.

Unrelated … As a side dish, are my hormones out of whack, or is Justin Timberlake kind of hot in a jailbait kind of way?!?! Of course, there’s something about him that reminds me of Brat, so that could be it, but I would let Timberlake “rock my body” any damn time he feels like it! 😉

Update

To make myself feel better for accidentally ending up in Silver Spring, Md., today due to a wrong turn in Northwest D.C., I bought Timberlake’s “Justified” CD at Boutique Tar-zhay, and I listened to “Rock Your Body” all the way home from Springfield, Va. Amusingly, he recorded the song in Virginia Beach. And I can totally sing that chick’s part on pitch. 😉

“Talk to me boy

No disrespect, I don’t mean no harm

Talk to me boy

But I can’t wait to have you in my arms

Talk to me boy

Hurry up cause you’re taking too long

Talk to me boy

Better have you naked by the end of this song.”

As I cannot have morning *wood*, this is the next best thing.

Had an amazing sex dream last night. I met up with James Spader, of “Sex, Lies and Videotape” fame, and even though I’ve never been the least bit drawn to him, he made for a hell of a good lay in my dream. 🙂 He was sultry and sexy and turbulent when he touched me in the dream. He would be nice and charming when other folks were around, but when no one was looking, he would practically devour my neck with kisses (my ultimate turn-on, for those taking notes!). He was spontaneous and forceful and rough, and I’ll have to admit, it was a long time since I got it *good* like that. Don’t get me wrong — I have enjoyed the gentle sweetness of many partners past, but I myself am animalistic and sometimes play a little rougher than other parties would have expected, so I am in need of reciprocation on that front. 😉

Let’s face it, nobody wants to be raped — per se — but the feeling of being out of control and being completely overtaken by a sexual partner is eerily erotic. My sexual energy is high, and I most often find myself in the position of the initiator (teaching by example, if you will), but I am in charge both at work and in the bedroom and oftentimes crave to be dominated and powerless to strength from above and quivering from below.

*blows the dust off the ol’ vibrator … can’t waste this energy just sitting here, blogging.* 😉

Heather does an ode to labia in her April 9 entry, to the tune of Eric Clapton’s “Layla.” Then visit the labia blog-a-thon and share the love of those lascivious lips!

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?

Bon Jovi

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?

Still Bon Jovi, although Melissa Etheridge ties for the favorite ranking now.

3. What’s your favorite song?

If there is one song that makes me stop everything I am doing so that I can sing along, it would be Don Henley’s “Boys of Summer.” DJ Sammy did an excellent, trance remake of it, and that version is now in heavy rotation on my CD player too.

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?

Bass guitar — it’s so damned sexy.

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?

I’d probably die on the spot if I met Jon Bon Jovi, so I will go with Melissa Etheridge. And I need to meet Tara MacLean so I can kick her ass for making two incredible records and then leaving me hang for so many years without another release.

Welcome Susan’s newest little arrival, Chloe Renee, born March 17, 2003, and weighing 8 pounds, 4 ounces. I took these photos last week, when the lil squirt was only two weeks old.

One of Chloe’s rare *awake* moments

Pensive

Aunt Dawn, get that camera OUTTA my face!

And yes, that’s my chest in the next one. The kid likes boobs, what can we say?

And then here’s the darling 3-year-old Courtney. But don’t call her a pretty little girl —

she will warn you very sternly that she is the big girl now. 🙂

Sisters!

And here’s my only child. …

And to get away from the hold-my-hair-back-while-I-puke cuteness theme,

(of course, that’s debatable) meet my new friends Karen and Chrissy …

Yes, you can tell I’m at work, with a title like that! 😉

Okay, so they sponsored training on our new, shitty photocopiers today. I was not asked to join, so I am cool with that. But poor Shan got roped into it, and she came back with pages of notes on the complete idiocy of our colleages who couldn’t find the big green print button. But it gets worse. I have been begging these yahoos for months about either getting a new printer or figuring out how to set up my machine to print to a photocopier … and wouldn’t you know, they set up the new copiers so that only the Windows users can print tabloid size? I am the only asshole in the entire organization who prints tabloid-size documents, but they didn’t want to spend the extra dime to get the Mac software to enable me to stop dealing with my tired printer that jams everytime I print my paper out to proof it. Ergh. Shan kind of made a fuss about it with Demure, who wiggled her lips and looked stressed out.

Speaking of wiggling, I’m trying to get out of meeting with Demure tomorrow. I have no idea what’s going into the paper this month, and I don’t want to meet — let me just be blunt about it. Meetings work for her; they do NOT work for me. I don’t understand why I have to sit in so many meetings. I have to go into a benefits meeting tomorrow, too — looks pretty grim, whatever’s going on, as Frosty is taking us into small groups to discuss whatever change is looming. I am pretty pissed that my co-pay on a small prescription of Percocet was $40 — lord only knows how much worse it’s gonna get.

Anywho, I am so pleased to randomly bitch. I have been busy interior decorating here, so it’s just a wasted day in general. Then again, how can any day spent here at Club Medicated NOT be considered a waste? 😉

Sending lots of love to Phil for helping out, despite my Macintosh preference. 😉

Good. Now I can bitch about how much money I just spent having my taxes done. I’ll get a good refund, although my student loan company is frothing at the mouth, waiting to seize it. Oh well. Just a few lil pieces to put in the mail, and you can stick a fork in me, ‘cuz I am D-O-N-E!!!

And right after it came Stereofuse’s “Everything,” which y’all know I love, too. 😉

“So denied so I lied are you the now or never kind

In a day and a day love I’m gonna be gone for good again

Are you willing to be had are you cool with just tonight

Here’s a toast to all those who hear me all too well

— Eve 6, “Here’s to the Night” —

In response to “Which STD Would I Give to My Ex,” this one is pretty appropriate, although I did have to ask myself *which* ex to have in mind. 🙂

You Should Give Your Ex Crabs!

Your ex didn’t really hurt you, you just dislike certain things about him.

Give him crabs and tiny 1/8 inch animals will live inside his pubic hair, making him itchy.

Crabs are easily treated with medicine that is put on the pubic hair.

What STD Should You Give Your Ex?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

As my blog is still not behaving, I am overflowing with stuff about which to blog, but I just haven’t been bothering. I’ll post some more photos this weekend, but for now, here are some random rants:

Work

I got the go-ahead to hire an intern for the time being, as I am too busy to interview for my newly opened position in my department. I even have the girl in mind — the daughter of one of my more useful colleagues who is a journalism major with publications experience. She’s OK that it’s unpaid, and I can guarantee that she’ll show up, ’cause her mom will be driving her to work every day. Frosty was cool with it and told me that I had no paperwork nor songs and dances to do to get her hired, and I was thrilled. Then Pussy Demure had to piss on my Wheaties and essentially told me to jump through a few hoops before she’ll approve my request. Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ. She wants to know why having an intern will benefit the Veggie Patch. Duh! Free fucking labor, you asshole!!!

Personal

I am horny and sexually frustrated and attempting to boycott the vibrator for the time being. I am ready to rape someone, anyone who happens to come within 10 feet of me. So unless you want to be ravaged, stay the fuck away from me. 🙂

Tiff and I are talking about going month-to-month on the lease once it expires, which will benefit both of us financially and emotionally. I figure, if I happen to murder someone at the Veggie Patch and have to go to jail, she isn’t locked into another year-long lease when I go to prison.

The War

Isn’t it over yet? Let’s just wipe the Middle East off the fucking map already. And get that bin Laden creep while we’re at it.

Friends

Congrats to Andrew for launching his very own domain! You can still read his rants at his blogspot addy. If I could find my fucking sidebar, you’d see links to him there. 🙂 Andrew’s a seasoned journalist who is embarking on a new career with a brand-spanking new master’s degree (well, soon, anyway!), so keep an eye out for this rising star.

The Weather

It sucks. Ass. It was in the low ’80s in California, it was snowing in Pittsburgh and it’s raining in Virginia. It’s wreaking havoc on my damn sinuses.

Health

I must’ve caught something while I was in Pittsburgh, because I’m all heartburny and grumbly and feeling just plain blah. My stomach is continually upset. I don’t even feel like smoking! (Although that hasn’t seemed to stop me much. lol) Everybody send some good wishes to Dave, too, as he’s not doing so well himself in the health arena — maybe a hot shower and/or a wet t-shirt contest at his place might cheer him up a little bit. 🙂

‘American Idol’

Tonight I threw my votes to my beloved Clay as well as to Ruben. It was Ruben’s rendition of “Kiss and Say Goodbye,” at such an appropriate time in my life, that won me over. And Clay is just such a cutie — who can help but love him?