Perhaps my proudest life achievement is that all these songs about people who left to go see the world …
Are all about me.
“Taxi cabs and busy streets
That never bring you back to me
I can’t help but wish you took me with you.”
There was a moment or two where I was proud I had found some family ties.
But really, the traveler being the one to travel even more in the ancestral homeland exhausted me in a way the storage unit didn’t. And that unit exhausted the fuck out of me.
Meanwhile I had friends who were like why didn’t you say you were in Monroeville? I’m in Plum! I’m in White Oak! I’m in (insert wherever)! I would have come to you!
The best was the girl who said I hit all your bakeries around the holidays. Want me to send you something?
NEW YEARS PRETZEL YASSS I ASKED 10 PEOPLE FOR ONE WHEN MOM WAS ALIVE, WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL I HAD TO DO WAS ASK YOU.
Anyway. I had reached out to one of my someones with an anecdote from Atlanta.
They said they had never been through ATL.
Meanwhile I know every terminal, every historical installation, every shitty coffee shop, every tram stop, like I once knew every feature on their face.
That was a wild moment. All of it.
Especially since I sat behind their doppelgänger on the flight from ATL to PIT. And if I hadn’t, I would have never known they grew their hair long like the stranger in front of me.
That was oddly satisfying. That moment of connection that only came really because of travel.
One of my girls is going back to her homeland today. She told me she wanted to wish someone well but didn’t want to risk rejection. Again.
I sent her a link to Dear McCracken and she’s like how did you know.
I just know.
What’s funny is a man sent it to me. And I do think of him with it. But he’s not the only one.
Like that song says …
“I thought by that age
Our broken hearts had seen their worst
And I thought that kind of heartache was meant for the young
But we’re never too old to hurt.
I sit stunned that anyone thought of me with that song. And may still.
Maybe that’s my big realization. I’m the traveler. And I’m not the one hurting/longing in songs like “Come Back Be Here.”
Ponderous.