It’s been a while since I had a bad day.
I mean, I have bad moments. Moments of grief. Times when things are stressful.
But this day is particularly colored by two ridiculous work-related things.
One is 100% sponsored by DTOM and what I realize bugs me the most — the double standard.
The other is 100% sponsored by my own decision-making. The decision was mostly a good one but maybe not executed flawlessly.
The decision was 100% based on a series of exceptions to rules I’d been given. So I went with, oh, ok, we’re doing THAT now, let me do my thing. And my staff went above and beyond to help, as they do, which is what triggered people noticing.
Look, I can deal with bad moments, bad decisions, even bad days.
Not even my best moment, decision or day is going to bring my mother back.
And there is nothing, NOTHING, short of being fired that could make me feel worse than I’ve felt about that.
I guess I’ll go back to the other project that’s about to get me into trouble. Well the fact that I didn’t do it earlier, that is. Because I had no inspiration then.
At least now I’m inspired to knock this out and pretend this fucking day never happened.
At least, till I see it on my review.