Caterwauling

When you’re po’, you need cheap ways to amuse yourself, so I decided to dye my hair dark and also paint my jewelry armoire. The armoire was silver with gold accents, but as I recently practically burned the thing down with candles, I had some serious scorch marks to disguise. So I bought some black craft paint and painted the top, front and sides, but I left a good bit of silver within view. Then I stenciled stars and crescent moons with a metallic silver pen. It turned out really well, but my stencils are kinda screwy because the pen kept drying up and I ended up doing a lot of them by freehand so that I could better tell when the ink was flowing. I left most of the stars as just outlines, but the ones I screwed up pretty badly, I filled in. It’s kinda artsy, so I am most happy with my work.

IKEA Boy, Bryan, Paul and I went punkin-pickin’ today. We drove out to Leesburg to find a farm that supposedly exists, but the hour-long trip turned into three hours. That’s okay … we totally bonded during our car ride. I love those guys. At any rate, we did find what I call Pumpkin Ghetto, because they had loads of punkins, a petting zoo and unlimited cider, apples and cheesy-cute activities that were perfect on a fall day. Fun, fun.

We drove past signs for Manassas and for Leisure World, where one of the shootings occurred. It was sobering to realize how CLOSE to home that the beltway sniper is hitting, but luckily, he seems to take weekends off, so we weren’t too paranoid. But tomorrow starts another day of waiting and wondering and hoping we will live another day.

Mohammed has called my cell phone no fewer than seven times and has also text-messaged me. I ignored it every time. I regret giving him my number, because if calling seven times in 24 hours is his style, I would absoutely hate dating him. He seems desperate. I should just call back and tell him my girlfriend doesn’t appreciate his insistence! lol.

I remember getting really mad at CTL, who totally put me down by saying that the reason I didn’t want to date him (after months of his asking) was because he was of a different nationality. I thought I proved that untrue (I mean, I fucked him, didn’t I? Albeit regrettably.) In his case, the reason I could never be interested in him was because I was in love with our mutual friend, but I was hurt that he thought I was racist. But during the past few days, I realized that I really DO want to end up with a Caucasian. I don’t think this makes me a bad person, nor a racist.

I don’t have too many standards, but if I feel most attracted to Caucasians, it is my right to limit my dating pool to those who get a sunburn, right? Granted, in my area, finding a white boy is damn near impossible, but I really don’t want to compromise what is one of my few personal standards. I mean, I just want somebody with some amount of higher education, someone who brings in a steady income and someone with whom I would be overjoyed to spend a significant portion of my life. That’s not to say that I won’t fall madly in love with someone outside of those boundaries, but right now, I don’t think I would be a good match for someone who doesn’t meet my basic criteria. I don’t even care, at this point, if it’s a man or a woman, just as long as they look something like me.

I keep hitting the snooze button on the biological clock, so I know that the people I meet now might just be in my life for keeps or at least for a few months/years. I still believe in love at first sight, and if I don’t feel it right away, I can’t guarantee that I will ever feel it. Not to say that I can’t grow to love someone, but there has to be a certain level of physical attraction initially, and just because Mohammed used a good pickup line (“May I have a light … and your phone number?”), I need to not date just to date. I’ve dated/slept with more people just to do it, rather than because I wanted to invest the time in them. Unfortunately, the handful that I viewed as special obviously didn’t reciprocate the passion, and that’s okay. If both people aren’t feeling it, then it isn’t meant to be. And with Mohammed, I hate to say it, but I ain’t feeling it. Am I missing out on someone special? Perhaps. But would I be wasting his time while I tried to act interested? Absolutely.

Attention men, ages 25-37, Caucasian or something close to it, who have attended a college class or more, who are making a fairly decent living and who can be cerebral as well as outright impulsive and wild, E-MAIL ME!!! PLEASE!!! (I’m 28, employed, enjoy my work, dark auburn hair/green eyes, etc. Not desperate, just tired of meeting the wrong men.) Give a despondent gal some hope. I promise you won’t be disappointed!

Shan and I were too hungover to do the business meeting/gym visit routine today, so I went out driving to clear my foggy head. I ended up at CVS where I met a man, Mohammed. He was acutally very good-looking and pleasant. I gave him my phone number, and he’s called me at least three times (I didn’t hear the phone ring), and he left one voicemail. I haven’t checked it yet. He seemed sweet, but all I want is a hot white boy. Why are those so hard to find down here?!?!?!

P.S. Note that SM is now Shan, since that’s what I call her anyway. The initials “SM” were reminding me too much of Her Royal Pretentiousness (HRP), my former employer. Eeeek.

I checked my usage stats today, and I found that I had visitors who came to my site after running searches for:

1. Creaming over college boy’s jeans

2. I met a whore in the park one day

I love seeing what people are searching the ‘Net for. 🙂

My belated Friday Five:

1. If you could only choose 1 cd to ever listen to again, what would it be?

Tara MacLean’s “Passenger”

2. If you could only choose 2 movies to watch ever again, what would they be?

“The Prince of Tides” and “Anywhere But Here”

3. If you could only choose 3 books to read ever again, what would they be?

Judy Blume’s “Summer Sisters,” Pat Conroy’s “The Prince of Tides” and Anais Nin’s “Henry and June”

4. If you could only choose 4 things to eat or drink ever again, what would they be?

Wild Vines’ Blackberry Merlot, Pizza Perfectta’s (in Pittsburgh) pizza with pesto sauce, chicken and extra cheese, Primanti Brothers’ (in Pittsburgh) pastrami sandwich, and my mom’s famous cheeseburger.

5. If you could only choose 5 people to ever be/talk/associate/whatever with ever again, who would they be?

As usual, I interpret the question in two ways: those currently in our lives and those we haven’t seen/contacted in awhile, so of course I am going to have two lists.

Those who are in my life

1. Wobin (my mom)

2. Chris (in Minnesota) and Leslie (in Ireland) — yes, I consider these two a unit because while we all have separate, wonderful friendships, there is just something truly special when the three of us are together.

3. IKEA Boy

4. SM

5. And last but certainly not least, Maddie

Those I’d like to see again

1. MV

2. Brat

3. CR

4. Janna

5. MV (so what if I listed her twice? she was that special to me)

One year ago today, it was just as rainy and miserable, but I was overflowing with hope and happiness. (One year ago tonight at midnight is a different story. …) I had such hopes that things were going to work out with YKW and me. I remember calling him at home on my lunchtime smoke break; I remember going out to happy hour and bowling (of all things!) after I got done with work. I remember kissing him, celebrating him, wanting him. I don’t think about that time much anymore, but today I’m entitled. What I wouldn’t give to drown in his eyes just one more time. …

I’ll be better tomorrow. In fact, tomorrow is my one-year anniversary of driving (well, having Mom drive) Samantha Jones out of the dealership. Happy birthday Samantha!!!

I cannot begin to describe how freaked out we are at the office today with this newest shooting.

THIS JUST IN

Sharpshooters are stationed in a local apartment tower (I won’t post it just in case the killer is computer literate), aiming at the Mobil station across the street from my work, as well as pointing toward I-395, because based on the geographical profile, if Alexandria, VA, becomes a target, that’s the most likely area where the killer may strike. SM said HR told her this (and HR used to work for the FBI) — yet they’re not disseminating the info to staff, for some reason. All of us go there for gas and snacks … why WOULDN’T she share the info?!?!

HE COULD BE IN OUR PARKING LOT, RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!!!!

There WAS a strange white van, with black-tinted windows, parked in CompUSA’s lot, about 150 yards from here. I watched it pull in and 25 minutes later, I watched it leave. No one left the vehicle, as though the driver were casing the area. It’s rainy and miserable today, and he parked fairly far away from the store, where there were much closer spots available. I saw six police cars in 20 minutes cruise the area. At any rate, the van had six windows and had some kind of rails on top of it, particularly on the right side. SM is trying to get through to the tip line, just to share what I saw. Turns out that the same van parked on the other side of our building, too, according to the weird librarian. She and another employee notified the tip line of that. How strange. …

This is so fucked up. I’m too worried to work or do anything but try to find breaking news.

On a lighter note, my newest theory: the killer is wasting a lot of gas, driving around this area, where traffic is horrendous at best. Perhaps he’s road raging and simply follows bad drivers off the road to gas stations, where he pumps them full of lead while he’s filling his car with unleaded gas.

At any rate, this is why I don’t own a gun, ‘cuz I’d be throttling bad drivers myself.

I think ‘Love Me Back to Life’ is my favorite song so far on the new Bon Jovi album, “Bounce.” That’s what we all need right now, someone or something to awaken the sleeping hearts within so many of us. At any rate, Bon Jovi is on “Letterman” tonight, and that’s the only reason I’m even awake … that, and to do my Friday Five!!!

Before I get all philosophical, I just have to rant. IKEA Boy and I attended Photoshop classes in D.C. for the past two days, and we’re just lucky to have not gotten shot by the area sniper who claimed his seventh victim last night. And the dumb bitch in the class, Mimi, who couldn’t follow simple directions, was lucky we didn’t jump on her and beat the shit out of her … although I think the instructor might have wanted to at least have the honor of throwing the first punch. 🙂

But we will remember what happened OUTSIDE of classes more than we will remember the tips and tricks we learned in our sweltering little classroom.

Last night, we dragged our asses out of class and to the parking garage, only to find that he had locked his keys in his car, which the attendant couldn’t park (obviously), so it sat on the ramp all day. Hee hee. Mikey saved the day — he graciously fought rush hour traffic to bring IKEA Boy’s spare car key, and then we all went to the new Starbucks in Dupont Circle to kill time until the rush hour mess lifted a bit. All told, we left the seminar at 5 p.m. and got home close to 8 p.m. Oy vey.

But his little black cloud took a rest this morning so that mine could inflict some drama in our days. After he picked me up at 7:50 this morning, we crawled along I-395 at the warp speed of 10 mph. Finally, we jumped off the highway to grab some fuel and for him to grab a sandwich and a Frap. Well, he asked me to open the Frap for him, and what I did not realize was that he had managed to unscrew the lid beneath the plastic on the bottle, so when I yanked off the plastic, I thought I’d be nice and shake up the drink before opening the cap. BIG MISTAKE!!!!!! The milky brown liquid went flying EVERYWHERE!!! Long story short, we went back to his place so that we could tidy up the messes (my shirt, jeans and cute little frog socks were saturated, and we’re just happy that the car has a leather interior). At that point, it was 8:30 a.m. and the seminar began at 9. We got there at 10.

The drive there was hysterical. He whipped out his trusty crack pipe and smoked himself a fattie. Of course, I got the contact high, and we just laughed and laughed throughout the hour-plus commute. And because we figured things just couldn’t possibly get any worse for us, we hopped into the HOV lane illegally … I figured our defense would be something like, “But officer, we were so high that we truly THOUGHT there were three people in the car!!!” hee hee. Always an adventure. Always. 🙂 I know I’m NEVER going to hear the end of this, but I don’t care … if nothing else, my life is amusing!!!

I actually had a sweatshirt made with that saying, decades ago, it seems. It was black with sleeves that rolled up to show a gray fleece, and it had a big red heart and white lettering. I might have been in seventh grade, so here I am 15 years later, wishing I had that shirt so I could sleep in it tonight.

I’ve only listened to four songs off the new CD, “Bounce,” but I am loving it so far. Bon Jovi CDs are my catharsis — kind of like warm, fuzzy pajamas or flannel sheets to me. You know they’re going to feel heavenly before you even touch them, and you know you can pull them out on a crisp night and feel good while you’re in them. I tend to memorize Bon Jovi song lyrics immediately in a bizarre bonding ritual with the CDs, and when I revisit the albums, even if it’s years later, I haven’t forgotten a single syllable or guitar riff. I think their CDs have thwarted many a bout of depression on my part.

Today, I even bought “7800 Degrees Fahrenheit,” their second CD, since I finally wore out the cassette and frankly, it’s the last album I had left to convert to CD (except for the “Young Guns” soundtrack, but I’m fine with having that one as a cassette). I never did buy Richie Sambora’s CDs (he has two solo records), but when I have money, I’ll get around to it. I loved his solo stuff, but having limited funds most of my life, I invested in Jon’s solo efforts instead … and of course I was not disappointed. Although I’m trying to get my hands on the video movie, “Destination Anywhere” — does anyone know anyone who’s selling it? My online stores aren’t stocking it.

“Bounce,” the new CD, is an epic. Jon and Richie were inspired to start writing material for the album after 9/11/01, and each song completes a thought that flows fluidly into the next song. Yet each song stands freely, easily, beautifully. I always feel so good when I hear one of their CDs, although “These Days” will always be my favorite. But I think this one is going to rate as one of my favorites, just because I know where their hearts were when they wrote the melodies, and someday when I force my kids to listen to these songs, I will make sure that they know why the lyrics mean so much to me. They don’t tell of gore and tragedy … they tell of finding strength and hope when it seems to have all dissolved into an ocean of tears.

My history with Bon Jovi has been a long one, since 1984 when the band debuted, although everyone really jumped on the bandwagon in ’86 when “Slippery When Wet” was released. It was in ’88, though, when I was lying in my bed, listening to the newly released “New Jersey,” when I had the inspiration for my book series. I’ve been hammering out ideas for that series in the ensuring 14 years and always get a renewed interest when I hear a Bon Jovi song. It’s a story about a rock star, not so surprisingly. 😉 I don’t talk about my series much, but I will admit that I named my characters Stephanie and Jesse, and years after I did that, Jon proceeded to have three kids, and the first two were named Stephanie Rose and Jesse James. The connection that I felt to him was so eerie … my literary Stephanie and Jesse are like my own children, and those became his real-life children. Damn it, I need to meet this man someday. I just have to.

I saw that my other favorite artist, Melissa Etheridge, has a new book on the shelves. Who knew? I wanted it so badly, but I know my spending limits. Next pay, maybe. Or the one after that. But Bon Jovi was definitely today’s priority. I bought all of their albums since “Slippery” on the first day that they were released. It’s just my tradition to do that, just like I have to see them every time they play a concert in my city. There are some splurges that become necessities, and anything related to Bon Jovi qualifies as a spending emergency. 😉 And in November, I will be in the record stores, buying Melissa Etheridge’s concert DVD and hopefully the single for “The Weakness in Me” because I am going CRAZY without it!!!

This shit is getting out of control:

Map of Shootings

Let’s find this fucker (or merry band of fuckers) and send him over to the Middle East … The U.S. government isn’t swift enough to hunt down Bin Laden and Hussein, but I think this nutcase might just bring us world peace, if we can redirect his anger appropriately.

It’s just strange … what’s the pattern? He (they?) has hit a multitude of ages, genders and nationalities. What the fuck is going on in this world? I was so leery, putting gas in my car this morning. And I want to run out to pick up Bon Jovi’s new CD at Tower today, but of course it’s in a shopping mall, where trigger-happy-boy may just decide to have an after-work shooting spree.

I know … he needs Ecstasy, so he’d want to kiss everyone instead of shooting them. heh. Just another reason to legalize drugs!!! High people don’t get angry. Who’s with me on this one?!?!

No word from RK, re: the note I dropped him (below). No shocker there. Weirdly, though, he didn’t even sign in to AIM today, and he logs on around 7 a.m. every day. Did I scare him? lol — BOO!!! Waste of humanity, just like the rest of them.

Scary Boy Robbie has IMed a few times (I’ve had my “away” message on every time and truly WAS away) — he asked finally if he scared me away. ROFL. Uh, YEAH!!! Duh!!! I should just tell him to fuck off, but perhaps he’ll just drop off the radar screen within a few days. If not, then I’ll tell him to blow an ass gasket elsewhere. hee hee.

Got my Virginia driver’s license today (the DMV is known as the INS, and accordingly, I was the only American in there). Just looked at the damn thing, and they listed my sex as MALE. Motherfucking MALE!!! Did my breasts blind the guy behind the computer? They ain’t pasties, sweetie. God damn it, now I have to go back to the INS to get it fixed. ARGH!!! I wish they hadn’t confiscated my PA license — the photo was better, the license was prettier and everything on it was correct.

Otherwise, I had a fun day with IKEA Boy, shopping and assembling a piece of furniture for his bedroom (from IKEA, lol). I drove, for a change, and I think he’s going to need some more blond highlights to cover up the gray hairs I caused him to sprout today. I’m not a bad driver, just a Type A on crack. And, the spirit of Maddie invaded my body (which frightened IKEA Boy) — I was all “Ass-HOLE!!!” and “Kiss my fat, furry ass!” on I-395. I can’t help it and frankly, I don’t remember much of what I said or did, other than road raged between Springfield Mall and Pentagon City. But now I know why — I’m a man, and my driver’s license says so.

One could always make the argument that I am a gay man in a woman’s body, so naturally the cashier at the INS could have been confused. 🙂

Tiff just made my night by feeding me a sweet treat. Yum! And she also gets the Roommate of the Year Award (and so what if she’s the only roomie I’ve had this year?) because there is a long shot that I can get a little action in a couple of weekends, and she offered to make herself scarce, just in case. Woo hoo!!! Thank you, thank you!!! At any rate, either A.) it won’t happen, or B.) I’ll be too messed up to even drive here, and the offer will be for naught. But at any rate, when I DO roll in after a night of partying (and because it’s Madonnarama at Nation, I shall be happily fucked up!), it’s usually not till after 7 a.m. anyway, so she’d probably be up and out by the time I got back here. Aaah, keep your fingers crossed for me!!! I should design a cologne called “Desperation” (or does it exist already? lol). Or, more directly, “Somebody PLEASE Fuck Me!!!” Do you think I can get Neiman-Marcus or Nordstrom to carry that fragrance? I’m tired of wearing my Heterosexual Male Repellent!!!