Caterwauling

… ‘Cause I am one true sucker for a good Apple product. And the iPhone? Is now charging on my nightstand.

*happy dance*

It was Jeff’s post on how the iPhone changed his life that convinced me to go on a hunt for this exquisite wonder.

BLAME IT ON BEING IN BETHESDA

I just HAPPENED to find myself at Montgomery Mall today, fucking around in Sephora — which just HAPPENS to be two or three doors down from the Apple Store — trying on perfumes, as I do need a new signature scent and all.

I ended up wearing F by Ferragamo, and while it’s fairly delicious, it’s a little too sweet for my tastes. I was similarly impressed by the notes in Prada, which may be a better bet.

But the real decision is between Gaultier 2 and Guerlain’s Insolence. So, if you have any experience with either, please let me know!

If you love me and don’t want to spend $90 a pop, I really did love the Masaki Matsushima Chocolate scent. The product description says, “With top notes of fresh citrus layered over a rich dreamy middle of hot, dense chocolate and absolute cocoa melded with a base of sexy musk and sandalwood, this scent is just too delicious to ignore.” OMG, yum. Seriously, *slobber.*

Ahem.

THE IPHONE DIET

I was too cheap to spend $90 on some eau de parfum, but LO and BEHOLD, I get to the Apple Store and my spending discipline gets blown to hell. I asked the guy at the door whether they had any phones left, and he said the only had a handful of the 8-gigs.

So I ran to check my account balance — YES! The rent check hasn’t cleared yet! And I bought the 8-gig and a cute red skin for it and hot damn, now starts the iPhone diet.

Yes, the iPhone diet.

Work with me here.

It was a shitty week. I mean, if the Chinese named weeks as well as years, it would have been Week of the Dildo. Because EVERYONE acted like one. Plus, we had that holiday thing on Wednesday and I STILL worked upward of 50 hours. I’M A LITTLE BIT TENSE, OK?

So I decided to buy the phone as a treat to myself for staying out of jail and not putting anyone in the hospital.

But I’ve got to replenish that cash, so I’m going to stop eating until I earn it back.

Hence, the iPhone diet.

I decided I was only going to buy the phone if it make me look like I’d lost weight. So I said fuck it, I WILL lose weight with this goddamned phone because who can afford to eat? Between the $660 I slapped down plus the $120 for which AT&T makes me bend over and grab my ankles every month anyway, I’ll be sharing the kitties’ kibble — that is, when I can afford to feed THEM!

Oh well. This is why I endure all the glamour of my five-to-nine (a.m. to p.m.) job, so I can buy cool shit, right?

Apparently I’ve been tagged for a meme. Which, yay, ’cause I wanted to write but have nothing to say!

RULEZ:

1.We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
4. At the end of your blog post, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
5. Don’t forget to leave them each a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

Lordy. Just eight?

But eight I have to say in public?

Oy.

The abridged version, then. Here goes.

1. HABIT: I scratch off my fingernail polish from the cuticles on up. I play with my hands when I’m trying not to talk/make eye contact/emote, so the nails tend to get annihilated as a casualty for my reticence.

2. FACT: I work harder on volunteer projects than I do on paid projects, although it’s hard to tell the difference. But there’s something about helping someone out who really needs it — and, let me clarify, who is worthy of it — that lights my fire more than anything. I guess it’s more that I would rather do what I want than what I must.

3. HABIT: I have a crystal hanging from my rearview mirror, and I always rub it to remove the stress from my body in traffic — it’s my worry stone. I’m so absentminded that I don’t realize it, but when I let a friend drive my car and he rubbed it, I was stunned that others noticed this compulsion.

4. HABIT: When I need to make a big decision, I have to head to a park for either a ride on the swingsets or to at least stare at a lake or something. Even if I spend five minutes there, I always feel rejuvenated and can uncover the resolution with a clear mind.

5. FACT: Same as Lachlan, I have some symmetry issues. I also share something in common with Mark Wahlberg, and it ain’t the big, ah, appendage we saw in “Boogie Nights.” 😉

6. FACT: I am a walking divergence. I’m insanely impatient some days but completely “enh — whatever” on others. I am decisive but I oftentimes decide against making a decision. 🙂 I am over-the-top passionate yet I can turn off that switch in zero-point-six seconds. I’ll either raise hell or kill you with kindness — and you’re never going to be able to predict my reaction, so don’t even try. Some days I’m the social butterfly, others I’m the caterpillar.

7. HABIT: I tend not to deal with things until they are in crisis mode. I try very hard to plan ahead, but so much other bullshit crops up in the interim that I let things slide until they can no longer be ignored. (Hey, no one ever said the habits had to be good or cute ones!)

8. FACT: I don’t get worked up into a lather about anything other than the opposite sex. I’m pretty even-keeled in general, but man, don’t hurt or disrespect me because I’ve been known to hit the gas pedal really hard when I see you walking across the street. I’ve only recently noticed this about myself and will work on it, but I’m quicker to say “fuck you” than I am to hang around to feel the need to have to say it again. But yeah, some folks are lucky that I have very good brakes!

Now I have to tag eight lucky people. But since this didn’t come with a “send this to eight people so you can have everlasting love, luck and happiness” schpiel, I’ll leave it to y’all who want to do it to, well, do it. But Mel? SilverBlue? I’m looking at you. … 😉

I’m in the new Twitter Mosaic. And I recognize some of you, too!

Just another step toward becoming Internet famous. 😉