Undo my wrapper and lick my cheek …

… ‘Cause I am one true sucker for a good Apple product. And the iPhone? Is now charging on my nightstand.

*happy dance*

It was Jeff’s post on how the iPhone changed his life that convinced me to go on a hunt for this exquisite wonder.


I just HAPPENED to find myself at Montgomery Mall today, fucking around in Sephora — which just HAPPENS to be two or three doors down from the Apple Store — trying on perfumes, as I do need a new signature scent and all.

I ended up wearing F by Ferragamo, and while it’s fairly delicious, it’s a little too sweet for my tastes. I was similarly impressed by the notes in Prada, which may be a better bet.

But the real decision is between Gaultier 2 and Guerlain’s Insolence. So, if you have any experience with either, please let me know!

If you love me and don’t want to spend $90 a pop, I really did love the Masaki Matsushima Chocolate scent. The product description says, “With top notes of fresh citrus layered over a rich dreamy middle of hot, dense chocolate and absolute cocoa melded with a base of sexy musk and sandalwood, this scent is just too delicious to ignore.” OMG, yum. Seriously, *slobber.*



I was too cheap to spend $90 on some eau de parfum, but LO and BEHOLD, I get to the Apple Store and my spending discipline gets blown to hell. I asked the guy at the door whether they had any phones left, and he said the only had a handful of the 8-gigs.

So I ran to check my account balance — YES! The rent check hasn’t cleared yet! And I bought the 8-gig and a cute red skin for it and hot damn, now starts the iPhone diet.

Yes, the iPhone diet.

Work with me here.

It was a shitty week. I mean, if the Chinese named weeks as well as years, it would have been Week of the Dildo. Because EVERYONE acted like one. Plus, we had that holiday thing on Wednesday and I STILL worked upward of 50 hours. I’M A LITTLE BIT TENSE, OK?

So I decided to buy the phone as a treat to myself for staying out of jail and not putting anyone in the hospital.

But I’ve got to replenish that cash, so I’m going to stop eating until I earn it back.

Hence, the iPhone diet.

I decided I was only going to buy the phone if it make me look like I’d lost weight. So I said fuck it, I WILL lose weight with this goddamned phone because who can afford to eat? Between the $660 I slapped down plus the $120 for which AT&T makes me bend over and grab my ankles every month anyway, I’ll be sharing the kitties’ kibble — that is, when I can afford to feed THEM!

Oh well. This is why I endure all the glamour of my five-to-nine (a.m. to p.m.) job, so I can buy cool shit, right?

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