Two tits, a hole and a heartbeat. Heartbeat optional

December 31st, 2017, 8:52 AM by Goddess

This before-and-after set of pics is probably three years in the making. Probably 40 pounds’ difference between the two.

Minus my post-Christmas binge — because they brought fresh donuts into work on the big Layoff Day, and a girl can only handle so much. But I wish I had feasted on unique Christmas treats rather than Dunkin and then whatever else I found in the house that night — I probably ended the year 10 pounds lighter.

As for 2018, this is the first year I haven’t listed “losing weight” as one of my resolutions.

“Getting my shit together, for realz this time” is my goal.

I know I have plenty more pounds to shed. But I am the same economically insecure girl who blows all her money at Ross Dress for Less and buys her mom all the decorations and sugary treats she wants because who knows if *this* is going to be her last birthday/holiday/summer/etc. so let’s spoil her while we have her.

And I wouldn’t say I’m lonely. But I mean, I had three social invites this weekend and I turned them ALL down because I knew it would cause tension at home. Even after I said no to everything, she still said I get an attitude and that “well you can do whatever you want.” Well yeah, I *can* but at what cost?

In fact, the people at the Christmas party I attended liked me so much, the neighbors — who are hosting the New Year’s party — asked me to come. I could have an instant “friend family” if I wanted.

And I wanted. But … I really don’t mind my quiet little life. And at least I don’t have to worry about Mom being all alone. (She was invited to every event, by the way. THAT is how nice these people are.)

I love the idea of having great neighbors and having your kids and pets grow up together. Everyone takes turns hosting the parties. Everyone brings side dishes and silverware and presents and wine and extra plates and spare chairs.

The people having the New Year’s party even brought a Christmas present for me. So, it’s heartwarming to know there are still amazing people out there. Wish they were *my* neighbors.

I am somewhat bummed another year has gone by with no one special to speak of. The past bunch of guys I’ve met are pretty much looking for *anyone* rather than for *me.*

Two tits, a hole and a heartbeat.

Heartbeat probably optional.

And to be fair, I’ve sort of felt the same way. Not that I want just anyone. But that, sure, any one of them could very well be the one. Or not.

And I’d be just fine either way.

I always have it on my New Year’s resolution list to:

“Get a good-looking man with sharp financial sense who likes to travel and eat healthy and gives me just as much space as I need to keep me interested. Owns a condo or house with a water view and modern amentiies. Has a nice extended or adopted family to spend the occasional holiday with. Makes me feel adored and turns me on with just his very existence.”

(I’m not particular or anything!)

Maybe this is part of the “getting my shit together” year. Hopefully there’s a man out there getting HIS shit together and the universe says OK, time to meet.

Or not. Whichever. I know I’ll still be fine either way.

(But really, I do need to get my shit together. For realz this time.)