Hope he chokes on that bread

Made the mistake of walking into a store to buy Momma some bread last night.

Went through the entire display (it was Big Lots. Shit be janky) to get the perfect one.

Walked straight to the register. No one was in line.

Well, one guy THOUGHT he was in line.

He said, “Excuse me. EXCUSE ME. I SAID EXCUSE ME.”

I turned around and saw a big dumb doofus with a cart filled to the brim with crap. I looked at him quizzically because I walked FREE AND CLEAR to the register. I figured maybe he was trying to flirt or joke or whatever it is I deal with when I am not in the mood to talk.

He said, “You cut in line.” Like it was recess and we were 8.

Honestly I still thought maybe he was joking. And he commanded me to get behind him.

I was stunned for a second and waved him FORWARD. You know, INTO MY SPOT.

I thought, maybe he’s a little special? I mean WHO THE FUCK would cut in front of a girl … who’s already at the register … WITH ONE ITEM?

And it only took me a split second of looking at this tall twit’s basket to say, “Let me guess. You MUST be single.”

Then I threw the stupid bread at him and motherfucked his very existence the whole way out.

I’m proud that the “Probably voted for Trump” was the SECOND thought out of my mouth. Clearly that makes me even more of the adult in this situation!

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