I have a ton of draft posts, since I can never really go away. (Also, I document everything.) But yeah, you never get rid of me.
The quiet was good for me. I practiced it on social media and IRL too.
One lesson: I never really noticed how people interrupt you when you talk. But when you say fewer words than normal, their behavior is pretty apparent. But don’t interrupt THEM, God forbid.
Another lesson: When they aren’t stalking you and coming up with their own assessment of what’s in your head and heart (from a few hastily written words in a 35-second burst), they still subscribe to their own fantasy about you. I thought NOT giving them ammo would make them talk to me more. I was wrong.
Another lesson: Going dark shows who your real friends are. I didn’t get a ton of emails and texts. But I got a few. And for those of you who are true friends but gave me my space, I love you too. I needed it and I need you guys too.
A final lesson. I popped back up on social media and was happily welcomed back. By the usual suspects (love you all) and some pleasantly surprising ones.
That got me to thinking. A lot. Because I’ve been 100% ready to go dark. From online, from where I am, from maybe life in general. All in hopes of just never having to deal with terrible people again. Two in particular.
And I kind of got it that these twerps don’t define me. Yes they can and do poke holes in the occasional balloons of joy. Karma never seems to catch up with them because they think they are great and apparently the universe listens.
But I worked very hard to build all my relationships. No need to sacrifice any of them to run away from other ones.
If I don’t force myself every day to coexist with crazy, well, I’m only giving up the things I do love that might or might not exist otherwise.
I’ll leave it vague like that. But you get the idea.
Anyway. Life is good right now. And I will take it.
After all, I haven’t worn this size in seven years. If that isn’t worth celebrating on this Independence Day, then I don’t know what is.
