There once was a very sad post here about money and not having enough, and definitely not enough for my upcoming life adventure.
Instead of going postal in public, I’m going to just go pray on it or something. Or else I’m entirely too capable of making some very rash decisions and fucking up the whole works.
So, I am going to use this moment for good, even if it kills me. Since I’m congested and can’t just go blow off my aggression with a cigarette. 🙂
Anyway. …
May this be the last time in my life where I feel like absolute crap over something so freaking PETTY AND STUPID as money. Or the lack thereof. And all the panic attacks that ensue. Don’t forget the insomnia!
I was in a restaurant this weekend, absolutely having dry heaves over something on the menu. I don’t even remember what it was. It was “poor-people food.” You know what I mean — the crap our families fed us to keep us alive. The meals you had two or three times a week because the ingredients were cheap and plentiful. The shit you’d just DIE if your family served if you had a friend over for dinner.
For us, it was “shit on the shingles.” Ground meat in gravy over elbow macaroni. *shudder* For variation, throw in some stewed tomatoes and, voila — beefaroni. *barfaroni*
Ooh, and “city chicken.” *omg, no. just, no* It smelled vile. Was it pork? I dunno, it was just fake chicken fried up in a pan. “Shitty chicken,” I learned to call it.
I can’t eat any of that crap today. Of course, I have all but stopped eating meat, save for special occasions, of which there is an alarming lack.
For one of my friends, her “poor-people food” was chicken and rice. To this day, you cannot present her with the combination — no matter how artfully or expensively prepared — without her going into the wayback machine.
For others, it’s spaghetti. (I came from an Italian grandmother — I didn’t exactly have a problem with the spaghetti because the homemade sauce rocked.)
What was your poor-people food? Or what other triggers do you have of a long-ago (or recent) past that throw you into a tailspin?
I was out recently and smelled someone wearing Bijou perfume. Someone gave it to me as a gift when I began my five-month non-employment journey. I cannot STAND the smell of it to this day. Reminds me of applying for thousands of jobs for which I never got a call. Reminds me of being hungry and having NOTHING to eat. Reminds me of being lonely and trapped in the house and not having a hope in the world.
All right, see, this isn’t going in the right direction. Sure, I want to hear about what your “yuck” triggers are. But tell me about your good ones too. Like when you find yourself in a viciously bad mood like the one I’m in and what you use for a pick-me-up. (O HAI obvious hint!) 🙂