Caterwauling

Nothing like hearing about the layoffs of competent people at another company to look at the Chief Ice Cube Filler types and wonder why the world is the way it is.

Do you ever wake up and think about someone and wonder just what stupid thing they are going to do today to astound you at how absolutely stupid a human being can actually be?

Everyone has a talent. For most, it’s filling ice cube trays.

New rule.

Either learn something if it kills you.

Or else I get to kill you.

Ever go through a breakup so bad, with the other person creating so much drama and havoc in your life, that for a brief moment you wonder whether you should have just stayed there and been slightly less miserable?

Of course, in the end it was worth suffering a lot of pain all at once for the sweet, sweet freedom that resulted.

Going through it again now. It’s the breakup that never ends.

I don’t wish anybody ill. I just wish them gone.

Speaking of gone, my Evil Plan is stalled and I think I’m going to lose my shit if my birthday gift (Monday) isn’t filled with the celebration of being free once and for all.

So I’ve been hatching an Evil Plan.

I mean, if it works, my problems are over.

In one area of my life, anyway.

I lined up all the dominoes. Everything could work.

Except …

The source of all these problems does not seem to be going along with the plan.

I have to do something fast, before really happy people get put behind bars for the murder they want to commit.

It was one thing when it was my problem. Now that it is “our” problem, I can’t just stand by and try to make it better. I HAVE to make it better.

And if they don’t take the very, very attractive option in front of them, this isn’t over.

Unfortunately for me. For now. But better for everyone in the long run.

It’s time for everything to start coming up Goddess.

My new landlord insists on being paid by the 28th.

He received his check before that day and cashed it on that day.

Someone did, anyway.

Yet I just heard from the dumb bitch who used to live here, who ensnared me in this joint and didn’t tell me about the loud-ass crackheads upstairs. She said the rent is late and to add a $50 late fee.

Um.

Yeah, you who didn’t clean the place? Go fuck off.

I contacted the landlord and asked why I’m hearing from her.

Silence so far.

Everyone can continue playing “hide and go fuck themselves.” I’ll take the peace wherever I can get it.

Let’s see. Concert starts at 9:30 p.m. It will take a half-hour to drive there and another half-hour to park and walk.

Odds of being done with today’s workload by 8 p.m.? Pretty low.

Odds of me missing this concert? Even lower.

As I had the opportunity to help bring three promising individuals onto our team this week, I got to thinking about the last round.

I honestly believe everyone has a talent. Even if that talent is watching, learning and mimicking.

That’s not a talent we’re working with.

What I struggle with is that when people just don’t understand things, they don’t understand that YOU don’t understand them the same way they do.

Like, I’m sitting here seeing a sentence that was submitted pretty much as “The sky is blue during the daytime.”

Fine. Readable enough.

But if the first law of editorial is “do not introduce error,” I smell a life sentence for this:

The interpretation is essentially, “Cornflower is the essence of the nighttime because daytime is blue.”

And you know me. I have to rage. And then I shut down. And then I put up my “away” message and solve the problem.

Which is mostly that everyone knows the damn sky is blue so why even include it?

In any event. Someone made mention that things will be this way for a long time. And I died. Absolutely, utterly, crushingly died.

Gotta love catching people in lies.

I never say anything.

But damn it, I know.

No wonder they surround themselves with dumb people and make it their personal mission to destroy the smart ones.

I used to think I’d rather play dumb than be dumb. But I’m beginning to think the latter are happier in their bliss …

Me: Remembers outstanding project.

Me: Hey friend, go ask so-and-so about such-and-such

Friend: They swear they are working on it and they are doing it X way.

Me: Groan

Friend: Yeah so I said well we really want it Y way.

Me: Love you

Friend: So, so-and-so said, “Yes, that’s exactly what I was going to say.”

Me: Groan

Friend: You hear that a lot?

Me: You could say.

Friend: I don’t get it. If you were going to say it, then say it first.

Me: Or do it.

Friend: That works too.

Can’t wait to see what Somebunny has in store for me today.

I am starting to worry that I’m going to become violent.

Somebunny may put Throat-Punch Thursday to good use after all.

I can’t wait till I can write about it.

Lord please let it be sooner rather than later.