Caterwauling

One of my boys once advised me that when I can’t get anything done on my own, to just borrow someone’s penis. Since, I guess they don’t take things that come out of my little girl-brain seriously.

And nothing makes me more nuts than people asking about things that aren’t done that I requested 16 months ago. Things that I asked about again as recently as last month.

Do I bother producing the old requests or do I still look like a moron that I make so many requests, I can’t keep up with them?

Or do I try to find a big enough penis that I can just beat people unconscious with it?

July 3: Would have been my great-grandmother’s 106th birthday

July 4: Gram has been gone 15 years

July 5: Uncle Stan (my great-grandmother’s brother) would have had a birthday. I think he was younger. Sad to say I can’t recall and there’s no one left to ask.

I have so much love and pride and sadness and regret around each. This is a hard week. And it never really gets easier.

To “cap” off a banner day, I just swallowed the temporary cap on my tooth. Dentist tomorrow.

Oh, the joy of losing time during a holiday-shortened week.

Speaking of losing time today, I lost the whole morning due to [comment redacted before I even typed it].

Now, whether to bother Googling what could happen after swallowing a hunk of cement …

That almost all of your problems (and I am using “your” in the plural sense, as in “our”) can generally be traced back to one source? Who cannot be arsed to fix any of them because they believe they cannot gain anything by it? Hypothetically speaking, natch.

I noticed my old church is hiring someone with my weirdly wonderful skill set. And it doesn’t pay jack.

Funny how they rake in billions and just opened up a ministry in NYC and they go all over the planet saving the world but couldn’t spare a dime for their local fellowship.

Also funny how they all preach that we should have bigger dreams, bigger goals, bigger tithes. That we shouldn’t settle for the current size of our houses or for our current jobs or even our current lots in life.

God wants us to dream bigger, live bigger, give bigger. That I agree with. Except when it comes to “giving bigger” to these religious corporations that don’t give a good God damn about the people who need their leadership most.

And that they can’t even pay commensurate with those dreams, well, says it all.

Fools.

Do you look for the right job or the right company?

I started out at Westinghouse Electric, Deloitte & Touche and Coopers & Lybrand — all pre-merger. Great companies.

Then I went into non-profit and hated my life for the next half-dozen years. But the jobs were good even though the pay/companies sucked.

These days I would say “right team” trumps “right company” and “right job” since I’ve had it each way and can speak with a lot of hindsight.

Funny how none of the reader comments say you can have it all.

I did not have the worst week. Go figure.

I attribute my happiness to working from home three days last week. Everything seems surmountable when I’m staring at the ocean while I’m dealing with it.

I also think my conclusion helps that I can feel “meh” inside 40 (72) hours a week as long as I have something to look forward to. (And Winger is coming to town next month …)

Things are fine right now and I know to appreciate these boring moments. But …

*cue continual existential dilemma*

But what if we were put on this earth to be amazed and wowed and challenged (in a good way) and to be filled with wonder (again, in a good way) more often than not?

At the point I stopped having a family to return to, and being the only one capable of keeping a roof over my family’s (i.e., mom and cat) head, I gave up on chasing dreams. Or having them, for that matter.

But I was talking to a friend who still has those dreams. And while part of me wanted to pat my friend on the head because it’s so damn cute, another part of me said, “I want to help you because that dream is just fine by me, too.”

I’m not saying others’ dreams are or should be my own. But, you know. It’s a start.

I’m into hour 2.5 of a root canal. Everyone likes me here. They said I’m the only patient who immediately put on CNBC and settled in for a great afternoon.

I came in with a smile, happy to be here. They said no one is happy to be here. I said I have health insurance and this is as close to a vacation as I ever get. Drill away!

Isn’t it sad that I don’t have time to watch the news any other day? If I manage to see what’s happening in my industry, I have to take that as gospel. Ironic that the only way to open my mind is for a hole to have to appear in my skull …

Just 94%?