Don't sh*t where you eat
Last night I performed quite the feat. I shit on the dining room table.
Now, before you get in an uproar and tell me that stupid saying that you're not supposed to shit where you eat, hear me out. Mommy's throwing the table away. She had been planning to get rid of it in the move anyway, so it's not like anyone's going to eat where I shit.
But here's the fun part. It's a glass tabletop, which she had leaned against the wall behind Pooh Corner to deflect errant litter sprayings. When she came home last night, she sniffed and promptly asked me where I'd shit. I looked at her all innocently like, "Moi? Shit? Girls don't do that! Am all proper and ladylike. I've been sitting here on the couch all day -- I haven't done anything!"
And for awhile, she didn't see any errant cat droppings on the floor, so she wrote it off as Kadi having one of her noxious fart fests.
But then as she was scooping the box shortly thereafter, she discovered a perfect round turd stuck to the glass, about a foot above the floor.
Now, I've been known to take a shit and wipe my ass on a wall in my day, but she's still puzzling over how it was not a shit streak but rather a whole big, fat stinky turd, stuck to the wall.
Told you I'm clever - I can now add shitting up a wall to my 20-page resume of places I've crapped. How many other cats have mastered such a feat?!?!