'You stink, Justin Matisse!'

Mommy says that line from "Hope Floats" to us a lot. I mean, A LOT. Because we love our asses. I mean, psychotically LOVE taking dumps and leaving cat farts all over the house.

I am informed that there is no scent so pungent as a cat fart. Mommy hates to even use that particular "F" word (although she will fuckity fuck FUCK everything and anything else!) but when it comes to Kadi and me, we are "Little Fart Factories."

Yeah, and roses really smell like pooh-pooh-pooh! Oh, how my garden grows!

Kadi loves to sit on Mommy's chest (I try to but she says she'd need a tire pump to inflate her lungs afterward -- ASSHOLE!). She also loves to wrap herself around Mommy's neck like a little fur stole or something. Which Mommy wouldn't mind, save for the claws and the ASS in her face.

Mommy gets mad because Kadi has no decorum -- Kadi thinks that when she's granted approval to curl up around Mommy's neck, she gets to stick her ass in her face and fart on it at will. Which promptly gets her tossed back on the floor and Mommy hitting the liquor cabinet, culminating of course in a "You stink, Justin Matisse!" moment. And for those of you who were fortunate to have not seen this movie 600 times like Kadi and I have as our thumbs are not opposable enough to change the channel on the TV when Mommy's watching it, the name is in reference to a fictional skunk.

Silly Mommy -- we're not skunks. Skunks have a WHITE stripe down their backs. Instead, we have FUDGE stripes on our ASSES!!!