Caterwauling

It was so good
Letting you want me
So good
To make promises, promises.

Well this one hit a little too close to home.

I was thinking, I could dedicate this song to someone. Based on that line above.

But fuck that.

They can dedicate it to me.

(He) was pink clouding from the thrill of it
Skydiving as (he) wrapped (his) arms around my body
Gray rocking where the arrow hit
Years later, (he) still wonder(s) how to tell (me) sorry
(He) didn’t wanna let (me) down
So (he) left (me) up there on a pink cloud.

I don’t know that I ever even got a real apology.

A half assed one, basically thrown at me before “stop posting those vague things you say that send her spiraling.”

I could post that there was a damn rainbow in the sky, and she’d make 40 posts about MY post.

In any event, it all makes my head hurt to even remember all that.

But that’s how I use the song. As the apology I never got.

I finally made my own half assed apology awhile back. Just a simple, “I’m sorry, I was incapable of being an adult back then.”

Which is as good an apology as I’ve ever given. Take it or leave it; it isn’t getting any better.

That was more than I ever wanted to give but it tumbled out and we all know I can’t stop my words if I tried.

I just figure, they downgraded and got it worse. And I neither upgraded nor downgraded and have it so much better. I can be kind.

I was talking to one of my boys today.

He really deserves better than who he ended up with.

Sadly, he didn’t deserve someone as good as me.

What a revelation.

My name is NO.

My number is NO.

My sign is NO.

You need to let it go.

You need to let it go.

There’s this guy in the industry who annoys me.

He REALLY annoys Kelly.

He’s asked me two or three times about open positions at my job.

Look, I’m sour on the place right now. But when I get over it — and I always do — I don’t need another H to avoid.

Last time he messaged, I asked K, “We don’t like him, right?” And she’d said, “If you like dead weight, he’s your guys.”

Well, he asked today if I thought he’d be a good candidate for VP of marketing.

I fell out of my chair laughing.

“I think it’s so cute and I think it’s so sweet
How you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me
But let me stop you there, oh, before you speak
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no.”

Fortunately/unfortunately we hired someone over the weekend.

Fortunately because we need that role. Unfortunately because that means my boss is gonna be ALL up in my grill now since he’ll be less busy.

Which … BRING IT.

In any event, I’d rather have my tiny team of awesome people than some mediocre white man who thinks he’s VP material apply for — and get — that job.

Buddy, I’ve had the same title for 15 years. They bring YOU in above me … I’m out.

So, here’s assuming they hired far better.

It would actually be nice to have a real peer over there. It’s been too long since Eric left. I miss his weird but very talented ass.