All Her Fucking Lives Flashed Before Her Eyes

May 5th, 2024, 9:57 AM by Goddess

Yesterday’s tarot pull was a combination of The Hanged Man and The Tower.

Clearly, I need rest and I need to do it at a place with the Tower of Terror.

Today’s combo is Death plus the Three of Wands/Rods.

So, big change is coming and it’s going to propel me far away.

The 2W is kind of being at the baes of a mountain. By the time you get to the Three, you’ve figured out the general direction you should head.

Very general direction. But, say, you’ve started looking at places to live in a specific neighborhood rather than a general one.

Since our trash chute will never be fixed, I ran trash downstairs today long after the parking lot cats would know to look for me. (Heavy sigh.)

It was the first Saturday I didn’t feed. And now the second Sunday.

I think about them all the time. But I have to admit my anxiety is less, knowing I don’t HAVE to deal with people here anymore.

I stood downstairs for a moment and took it all in.

You’d never know how much evil resides here. It’s quiet and hot and the last of the snowbirds are taking their lanai furniture in today. We should lose the last two snowbirds from my floor this week.

Unfortunately, Peppermint Patty and the Let’s Go Brandon Lady will stay up here with me. And Tommy, who seems incredibly normal by comparison. And Alfred, who’s been trying to get new cabinets for seven weeks now.

Al’s workers seem like they come, drill two holes and go home. I asked if he’s getting a gourmet kitchen. He’s like no I just wanted some cabinets before I go back to New York; my god what is wrong with people down here.

Exactly. My god, what is wrong with people down here, indeed.

But, like I said, you would look around here and see nothing going on in the day. Maybe someone walking a dog, which was never allowed but the pandemic seems to erased that rule.

You’d never know that Pastor Paul kicks the ducks by the pool nightly. Or the little bastards (who grew up to be big bastards) in Building 101 take baseball bats to ducks and lizards. Or that Peppermint Patty and Cheryl scream at people for looking at ducks (just IN CASE they might be thinking of feeding them) in between going to the pool and touching each others twats underwater. (I can see a LOT from up here.) Etc.

I am not sure what the Death card represents. Maybe it’s full-on Reputation in that …

“And in the death of her reputation, she felt truly alive.”

Can’t wait to close the chapter on this place.

They say the essence of pleasure lies in its impermanence. That sounds really nice right now. REALLY nice.

The 3W card could mean promotion. Which, that would be ideal.

It also means finding a job overseas. And Death means, either find it yourself or I’m gonna MAKE you find it.

I’d rather not have (even more) fear as a motivator, thanks.

“When it’s all roses, portrait poses
Central Park Lake in tiny rowboats
What a charming Saturday
That’s when she sees the littlest leaks
Down in the floorboards
And she just knows she must bolt.”