Funny how each calendar year seems to have its own personality (or lack thereof). I have a great memory for years — when someone asks when an event took place, I can tell just by the nature of it when it had to have happened.
For example, 2001 was a year of great achievement and great loss for me. Nothing in between. 2002 was a year of trepidation and uncertainty yet for blind risk because anything had to be better than the status quo — I left Pittsburgh and moved to D.C. on a wing and a prayer and little else. The only bad thing about that, in retrospect, is that I went from a fantastic social life to practically none at all.
2003, though, was for fun and friends and celebration. However, 2004 was just for general suck, all around — lots of loss and anxiety. And 2005, well, brought some long-awaited people, places and things to me. It was a year of magic, of growing up, of admitting that some people were right and realizing why people do what they do to get by.
2006, I’m hoping, is another 2003 — of life, light, hope and laughter. Because it’s time for that — now is the time to live and love and just do everything for the sake of feeling good.
Although I am up to my ASS in work right now and will be ringing in the new year with a lot of exhaustion and stress over unfinished projects, both professional and personal, I was just letting my mind wander, and it went to New Year’s Eve as we were ringing in 2004 at my apartment. I had a house full of friends (and we got on the phone with several who couldn’t make it), and we were drinking and laughing and just plain enjoying each other. We spent the next day at another friend’s house — again, having the time of our lives.
That circle has all but disbanded, unfortunately. It’s so hard to keep in touch with people when everyone’s so freaking busy, but I think about them often. One is overseas, and I miss her so. The rest, well, I probably shouldn’t say it publicly, but I miss *most* of them.
That party saw me growing apart from someone in the crowd, and I found that I couldn’t give up that one person and still keep the others. It’s like a divorce when a relationship of any depth ends — someone ultimately “keeps” the good friends and the other is left to miss them. Read the rest of this entry »