‘For what we do and what we lose, we are not adequately compensated’

January 31st, 2015, 9:33 AM by Goddess

“For what we do and what we lose, we are not adequately compensated.” — Victor Gantry, “State of Affairs” season 1 episode 10

While I was missing out on having a life, a person I once hired to be my protege actually surpassed the master. And will earn twice my salary this year. And do all the things I set out to do so long ago.

I can be happy for them but I cannot contain the blame I have for everyone and everything (including myself) that I continue to sacrifice my heart and soul and creativity to babysit morons, support pipe dreams, be the recipient of neverending abuse and die so much on the inside that the years are shortening in which the outside will eventually catch up. And everything I once had to offer will be dust right along with the rest of me.

Should be a great day

January 30th, 2015, 7:33 AM by Goddess

Burst straight into tears at my regular Starbucks. Damn it. They are the only ones who know how to make a Flat White properly. Now I’ll never get one.

I’m unraveling, guys.

Stress. Pressure. Fear. Doom.

That sort of thing.

I don’t need help. I need things to STOP COMING AT ME for 10 goddamned minutes.

Confidential to …

January 29th, 2015, 9:03 AM by Goddess

You know …

If I sit here till nine the fuck o’clock editing two documents for you …

And spend half the day trying to tell my boss that I didn’t say the shit you said I said …

Or at least I didn’t mean it the way you translated it …

And I’m on the phone with every department on your behalf because they will only speak to me about your issues …

AND I come in early because you require me to …

Try not to leave me a love note in my inbox telling me what a stupid laughable moron you think I am.


Someone With a Newfound Rage Problem

In more ways than one

January 28th, 2015, 11:33 PM by Goddess

This. Not just for the message itself, but because I’ve been waiting my whole life to arrive home at 6 p.m. and not, say, 10 like tonight.

That’s the first goal. Then we can work on the “someone fabulous to come home to” part. Assuming I ever get out early enough to meet that person.


Asking for a friend

January 28th, 2015, 6:36 PM by Goddess

Does EVERY night have to be a late one?

I have been shoving duties off my plate left and right. Problem is, they boomerang right on back, in one way or another.

Meanwhile I keep remembering OTHER things I have to do.

And now a three-hour meeting at the worst possible time when I was hoping to knock out some of those bonus urgent projects.

You know, in addition to the mornings and nights when I’m sitting around by myself.

Feels like I just can’t ever catch up.