I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The great outdoors

Mommy gets frustrated when I wipe my ass all over the carpet after I poop, as I will allow neither my ass nor my paws to touch the kitteh litter. On occasion, I poop in the box, but I will NEVER cover it up. Likewise, whether I poop in the box or on the floor, I always choose to wipe my butt on the floors. Or the walls. Whichever is handier. ;)

As I have been gettin' pretty tired of getting YELLED AT for practicing some personal fucking hygiene (instead of wiping my ass on her clothes -- which, in fact, I've DONE), I waddled my shit-filled crack outside onto our deck and wiped my butt on the concrete.

And all I have to say is OUCH, MOTHERFUCKER that HURT!!!

Mommy noticed a line of demarcation on the porch one day, as she was on the phone and Kadi was on one side of the line and I was on the other. I thought it had worked pretty well, actually, but the shit smell made Mommy sick, so that got cleaned up REAL fast. Not to mention, but she gave me a BATH and really scrubbed my butt to take care of any residual poop and, well, cement in my ass.

Oh, the humanity.

The day was captured on film. Don't worry, she didn't photograph the shit streak on the concrete -- she only got us pretty girls, just hangin' around:


At 1:28 AM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

What? You haven't learned to use the toilet yet? And you call yourself a cat. Sheesh.

Washington Cube Was Here. #29.

At 7:09 AM, Anonymous Nixon said...

Well, who can be blamed when humans don't line the floor with toilet paper? Humans, that's who! They never think about that, because they have opposable thumbs.

Very pretty girls, indeed!!

-Nixon the Calico

At 10:44 AM, Blogger Barb said...

Dear Miss Maddie,

You two are, indeed, very pretty girls. You're prettier, of course, but Kadi doesn't need to know that.


At 12:25 AM, Anonymous Sylvester said...

All I have to say is here here! I NEVER cover up my poop! My brother Malcolm, who goes totally crazy if he smells my poop, does it for me. He tells me I have a nasty habit and should learn to use cat sand to cover! I say why do it yourself when someone else will just do it for you! Mommy and Daddy aren't amused when they find uncovered poop. I guess that's why they got a new catbox with a swining door to keep in the aroma!

At 12:28 AM, Anonymous sylvester said...

I am also a fellow ass-dragger! Kitchen floor and big rug in the living room work best!


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