I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Thursday, October 27, 2005

I crap on a carpet

I shit in the living room during the wee hours last night. Mommy always stumbles outta bed and to the computer because she works from home in the mornings, and today, she was practically throwing up in her mouth at the fragrance.

But I'd HIDDEN my poop! She had NO IDEA where it was! It was like an Easter egg hunt for excrement!

She scrubbed the shit streaks out of the carpet, thinking that might have been emanating the offensive odor. Nope, that didn't do it. She sprayed Febreze. Nothin'. She lit incense, for cryin' out loud -- and even THAT didn't mask the stench!

Alas, though, she went on the hunt for the offensive scent, and she found out that I'd crapped beside the big black entertainment center, where my droppings sort of blended into the background.

This was fun! It's like Easter in October!


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At 5:34 PM, Blogger Barb said...

Dear Miss Maddie,

Hopper loves to play that game, too. Her dad calls it CSI: Cat Scene Investigation.

One time, I was in the kitchen when I suddenly smelled poop. There wasn't any to be seen in the immediate area, so I went back to the bedroom, where I had just been. On my way, I passed the litterboxes. Nothing there.

Turns out she shit on the brown patterned quilt, and I lay on it, without even seeing it. So I was wearing the scent. Boy, was I pissed. I mean, shat. You know what I mean.


At 8:32 AM, Anonymous Jet Girl said...

NICE ONE!!!!!!!!

Yeah, Mom got a big surprise when she went to bed one night last week and discovered my chocolate love package smack in the middle of her pillow. Kinda like a luxury hotel, huh? Aww, yeah.


At 10:50 PM, Anonymous Jasmin said...

Dear Maddie, I'm truly starting to feel sorry for your Mommy. Won't you lighten up on the crapping and cut her a break. Your Mommy is a saint to put up with the likes of you. She loves you no matter what!


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