Maya Thompson “Mama Maya” posted about a new movie called “A Sacred Pause.”
All I had to read was one quote, and I’m in.
“Sometimes, there’s not a ‘happy ending.’ Sometimes, there’s just a meaningful ending.”
Mama Maya’s story was what inspired Taylor Swift’s song “Ronan.”
Which is MY song for MY baby who I also only had for four years.
It’s two years since Cocoa passed, on the 26th.
We should be celebrating six years together. Instead, we’re in the second year that she hasn’t set paw in.
Same with Mom. I just managed to get through a whole 2025 without her. What do you mean, I have to do it again in 2026?
I got to talking with my old friend Drew yesterday. We met in college. He was roommates with someone I wish would lose my fucking number already.
Drew just moved here from Orlando via Chicago.
I’m ready to move from here to Orlando.
So, we have things to talk about.
I was telling him I love love love Delray, where he’s at.
But I need a bigger change than to just move back there.
A meaningful change, as it were.
Just to sum up yesterday, for example:
1. The HOA said the electric would be off all morning. So I went to my favorite coffee shop in Boca Raton.
My laptop died and my portable laptop charger, for which I paid like $50 in the Atlanta airport and it works with my MacBook, just wouldn’t charge it.
2. I tell you this to say that I wasted 20 minutes of that laptop battery on the phone, being FIRED by my A/C guy as a client.
They love me. They just say I need a new A/C unit. And they do not want my landlady’s business.
3. I do think the owner is an asshole and I do think he’s fucking with me when he says they don’t want to keep doing repair jobs into perpetuity when I need a new unit.
3.a. But I also think it’s awful that they won’t give me the name of the plumber and handyman they promised to pass along.
3.b. And that they won’t do the follow-up visit they promised to do this week. So I will continue to Shop-Vac my unit, I guess.
3.c. The Shop-Vac is very good with the pervasive ant problem I’ve had for six years, so there’s that.
3.d. And they will only talk to me if the landlady orders a new unit and pre-pays for it.
3.e. Kelly said if I order and pay for the unit, she and Genevieve will uninstall it and sell it on Facebook Marketplace when I move.
4. I came home from Boca to find that the electric was never shut off.
4.a. The electric was supposed to be off to power up the refurbished elevator. But lo, no flashing appliances. Alexa was playing music. And yes, the A/C was running/dripping.
4.b. The electric is supposed to go off today if the job didn’t get completed yesterday. It didn’t even get started, apparently.
4.c. I don’t complain about free cable because it’s free. But it goes off at 6 am every day. And I can’t get it back on till after 7 or 8 as it “updates.”
4.d. For some reason, the updates happened at 3:30 am. I know because I watched “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” after. As I contemplate, do I go back to Carmela Coffee again today or just stay home and work.
4.e. A lack of a plumber does not mean both toilets, both tubs and anything in the kitchen actually drain/flush correctly. No matter how much of that Green Gobbler shit I buy, which is the most effective thing I’ve bought for these purposes.
4.f. Hindsight being what it was, I think the repair guy saw the state of disrepair that the house is in and figured why fucking bother. Even though I’ve paid them a thousand dollars for two visits. That’s why you fucking bother. But they don’t want to keep fucking bothering.
4.g. So, if the unit goes fully out of warranty in July, do I have no AC after July? Or after it breaks next?
5. In the midst of all this, Mike texts to whine that I must not want to see him again. BITCH. You’ve spoken 11 words to me this week, and they have all been about you. I am BUSY. If you want a goddamn valentine, fucking act like it. GOD do all men have to be LOSERS.
Basically if I am paying (redacted) to live in a place that frustrates me (See: no elevator, not even leaving the house when we DO have one because of bully neighbors) …
Why not pay that (and, apparently, then some) at a place where maybe I can find some joy and … gasp … meaning?!
That’s what the point of this post was supposed to be.
There is no happy ending. Not right now. Maybe not ever.
But maybe, just maybe, if I can find some meaning in the pain of losing everyone …
Some meaning in getting the freedom I never dreamed I’d have …
I could treat this for what it is: a sacred pause on the way to who/where I’m supposed to be next.