Caterwauling

Kelly texted to ask if my cuspy ass identifies as Gemini.

Because 2026 is a year of revenge for her sign, her BFF’s (and mine, tho a diff person) and my sign.

Fuck. Yeah.

She sent me something else. That we’re all hitting the three-year mark of confronting our illusions, establishing boundaries, cutting off toxic people, and learning the difference between martyrdom and genuine service.

She left her toxic ex 2.5 years ago. I did too but I don’t have any financial or karmic ties to him like she does to hers.

I HAVE however been back at my job for three years.

Hmm.

My bestie paid me a weird compliment publicly again today.

Like, someone had to have told her to kill me with kindness.

You really can’t kill me, sorry.

As I told Kelly, I 100% learned I do not need to give people a chance. Off with those peasants’ heads.

The cats are fighting today. But today it’s different. It’s Magic who’s hissing and growling at Bella.

It’s ALWAYS the reverse. He ALWAYS hurts and antagonizes her. And she yowls at him half the day to get the fuck away from her. Before he pounces on her and takes out her fur.

But today, she jumped on him from high surfaces, twice.

He is BIG MAD.

I apologized to him from Bella.

And I realized he and Bell are Ready Treaddy and me.

He and RT will stomp all over us.

But when we finally launch our fat asses onto them … well-deserved as it may be … but suddenly we’re the assholes.

It just doesn’t feel good to be the asshole. Let them be it.

Like there is a phone call I know I need to make. Or a “reply” to hit in my inbox.

I genuinely want to. But I think of someone this person and I have in common … someone who needs to be launched into the fucking sun … and I can’t do it.

I trust myself not to SAY that.

But I cannot trust myself not to ENVISION it.

Anyway. Magic is outside and refuses to come in. Bella is in but refuses to eat.

I’ve stress-eaten enough for all three of us.

Anyway, the new moon in Scorpio is all about confronting your shadow side and all the toxic shit that comes with it.

The recommendation is to write a letter to yourself, forgiving yourself for your bullshit that you’ve been on. For the past three years, apparently.

Man. I don’t know that I pay for a big enough data plan to list all that bullshit out.

But I am quite forgiving to myself.

I offered her a cookie. Two of them. From Levain. Along with a slice of pumpkin spice cake from Levain. And four chocolate-dipped pretzels from Capital Candy Jar.

Shit, I gotta forgive myself for that bullshit too.

Oh, New Moon. Help your witchy sister out here to not go back to the toxic behaviors that occurred as recently as two hours ago.

We got a new HR person.

I don’t know why. All they do is make my life harder.

Like if I have busted my butt to get someone to fall in line and they don’t, don’t tell me to PiP them. I’ve already done two people’s jobs for an extended period. Now to do those jobs AND try to not get sued? Hard pass, Grimace.

Also I sucked it up and was super nice to the new one. But I said look y’all I am drowning right now between PTO (where annoying people annoyed me) and staff PTO/UPTO. Give me a fuckin minute before you require me to do the November semi-annual reviews that have no pay raise attached to them.

Her: I totally get it.

Her four hours later: Here are the employees we need you to review before Thanksgiving. Did you have any questions?

Me: Yes, do you think you should see a doctor about your memory problem?

I see I am going to do my level best to avoid this one, too.

Speaking of the one who chased me via treadmill my whole time away and time back …

I got 16 emails about some meeting we NEEDED to have.

In addition to at least 10 Teams requests.

My away message said “Fires only” when I came back. My actual staff with actual fires did not bother me with the fires. (They should have.)

But lo, requests for a meeting and the employee newsletter reached four-alarm status.

I always go back to how this one blindsided and/or embarrassed me for a good year and a half in public at every opportunity.

I’ve since learned to “gray rock” with this one. Sometimes I smile, sometimes I eye roll. Ok a lot of times I eye roll.

Forget it, I am the opposite of a gray rock. I wear my shield like my MAGA neighbor wears trump T-shirts every day.

Anyway I finally say, I cannot take the emails. Put a meeting on my calendar for any day but Friday.

No meeting.

A few days later, in a 20-person meeting, it comes up that Goddess won’t circle back about a meeting.

I’m like yo I said put it on my calendar.

So they did … for last Friday.

It was so painful. So so painful. Audio issues. Echoes. A transfer to a conference line and the number was botched in the echoes. I figured out the mistake first but then I accidentally disconnected myself.

Anyway it was a meeting about deadlines. which we talked about at our previous meeting.

Then as soon as that overheated mess ended, I got asked about the newsletter. A request I dodge every quarter right along with reviews.

That was Friday. I did wake up after the Sarah McLachlan concert at 4 am to write it. Turned it in at 8. And informed my staff I had turned it in.

And thank God bc Ready Tready reached out to them at 10 to ask for it.

Look, none of this is blaming this individual for anything other than treating me so bad for so long that I will clean my house before I do them a favor.

In fairness, they did let me deal with all my fires.

I mean they should but I will give that grace.

I did get half a compliment at this week’s installment of the 20-person meeting.

A “Goddess did a good job on (some unrelated project.”

I asked my friend in the meeting if I hear that right.

They said are you familiar with the concept of sarcasm.

And honestly … that was the first time I think I ever felt compassion for Tready Freddy.

They clearly hate me.

I clearly despise them right back.

It’s like Christine Lavin’s “Inner Bitch” song. Forced politeness on the outside, but our inner bitches are running after each other with pointy objects.

And that almost gave me compassion for them.

Like, they are a gnat to me. I let it bug me till I squash it.

But I am probably SUCH a problem to them.

I can live without them. I had 40-odd years without knowing them and honestly those were the days.

Much to their great dismay and misfortune, however, they need me …

And I happen to be very good at what I do, which makes THEM look good.

And really that’s all this was ever about. They create projects to make themselves look good. I mean, sure, I assume it benefits the company in some way. But whether there’s humility in that pursuit is something I’ve oft wondered about.

In any event, now I will be the last to turn in reviews. I write good ones, too. I don’t just plug in numbers and be done with it. Though maybe if I did, they’d not ask me to do them? HAHAHHAA. I’m so silly.

Ready, Treaddy!