Caterwauling

I was intentional earlier today in my choice to only write about Ophelia, my would-be daughter’s name.

It didn’t serve my story to talk about Ophelia’s would-be brother, Darius.

Well.

I’ve been watching Halloween movies near-nonstop. And I’ve particularly enjoyed one of the “Haunted Mansion” variants.

Which … the Muppets one is the tits.

But the 2023 one with Tiffany Haddish is definitely my second favorite.

In that one, they make a passing mention of “God winks.” When someone from the Region Beyond (where they are at peace) sends a sign saying hi only to you.

For main character Ben, it was a neighborhood cat named Tater Tot. Big wink from his late wife.

For me, I was trying to buy an adorable Oogie Boogie sweatshirt. But it was Ross and I was 27th in line and there was one lady cashier.

I got up to the front, finally. When a male cashier opened up a new register and called me over.

Darius was the name on his tag.

I’d had another wink earlier. Was in the store next door, looking for a specific shirt in a specific size because my fat ass had bought one at another store in that chain in a smaller size.

Didn’t find the shirt (and let’s face it, the Oogie Boogie one will get more wear) … but a song came on the radio.

And all us women started dancing like we were dressed as frogs at a No Kings rally.

It was a song Momma had sung to me my whole life.

Funny enough, I had my hand on a shirt she absolutely would have asked me to buy for her.

That was a Ghost Wink with both eyelids.

My new cat sitter came over Friday. I told her, my Momma sent you. She was telling me all about her squirrel, Minnie, who loves sunflower seeds.

I went to my cabinet and got her brand-new sunflower kernels and said my Mom wants Minnie to have these. And I want photos of her mixed in with proof-of-life pics of my cats.

I seem to remember a psychic telling Mom that she saw someone on the other side, holding a baby she had lost.

I wonder if, somewhere, my Mom is on the other side with the D&O that were supposed to be mine, once upon that happily ever after time.

Once upon a long long time ago …

Lived a boy and girl, best friends.

Till a million tears in the fabric of the invisible string between them collapsed.

No I don’t write like that. I never did. But man, that felt weirdly good to type out!

I had listened to “The Fate of Ophelia” about eleventy trillion times since it was released two weeks (!) ago before it hit me.

That a friend and I had always talked about having a daughter named Ophelia.

I was in the car after a very stressful weekend of car repairs — one tire exploded … I bought a new tire … then on the same day, a truck on Sawgrass unloaded a bunch of wooden bricks that I ran over … and I now had TWO FLAT TIRES, including the one I had bought earlier.

And as I drove around looking for a place to inflate those TWO tires enough to get them to Tire Kingdom on Commercial Boulevard in Fort Lauderdale …

I started cackling maniacally.

Me. With a daughter. Named Ophelia. Was my teenage dream.

Good lord, someone go hug that girl.

Don’t get me wrong. I expected to be a famous author/journalist first. Then retire to an island and have a baby who I could watch growing up because I had enough money in the bank to do that.

The guy, I’ve written about here before. I don’t say much because some things are just sacred.

But I know I wrote about how he told my mom he can’t hear Bon Jovi without thinking of me.

Taylor Swift was born while we were still friends, but I’m sure he has no idea I’m such a superfan that I went to The Eras Tour four times.

Including one year ago today, in Miami!

He never listened to any bands that made it into the 1990s, let alone through them. So I don’t really associate anything on the radio with him.

But I know he had to have heard “The Fate of Ophelia.”

Does he remember those two kids who put that fantasy together, to have a little girl with that name?

Anyway, my cackling was really just at me. Also I was stressed the absolute hell out.

Which was a problem for us. I definitely said and did whatever I pleased. And that didn’t end well for me with him.

In any event, I hope he can smile and even laugh when he hears the song.

And, like me, move on and, as Taylor sang in “Opalite,” “mess up before and mess up again.”