Caterwauling

I signed up for another timeshare presentation.

This one promised me a free night in Orlando plus a $200 visa card. Plus a full weekend anytime I want after I sit through their schpiel.

I told K she should come with me to enjoy the free night. But same deal — I would have to drag my spouse or friend or whatever to the presentation, if they know about said person.

K loves the fine print. She was chuckling that this one says “no single men may apply” for timeshare ownership. It says single women are fine as long as they make $xx.

No single men. Love to see it.

Anyway I’m just excited to have a bonus Orlando trip. I was already going up for (xx event) but I only booked one night. So they will pay for the second night and I can drive home after the timeshare thing.

I’m curious to see how high-pressure the tactics are. Honestly they only got my number because I entered a raffle a year ago for a Publix gift card.

They asked if I remembered signing up and I’m like … wait that event from January? Did everyone else who attended say no?

Anyway, we’ll see how I do with high-pressure sales tactics. I guess if I don’t call everyone a whore like I do with someone who cannot stop insulting me publicly, I’ll win that day.

Besides, everything is just a means to an end to be a park princess.

And yes I did consider Disney Vacation Club ownership. But my shallow shopaholic self gets great (and free) hotel deals. Like the $xx I paid for a week at (redacted) or the $xx I paid for (luxury hotel plus flight).

I can’t believe my life and my luck, either. Now if my damn StubHub ticket would just be delivered — and if I can just keep from throwing a sandwich at someone — at the latter, it’ll be worth every dime.

My fascination with Disney Parks surprises even me.

Mom and I went to Orlando regularly. Two to three times a year, easy.

We loved Disney Springs since it was Downtown Disney. But I never really went to a park other than if a friend invited me.

And even then, I’d leave Katie and Mom in the hotel and I’d go hang out at Epcot.

A few months ago, I had a dream about Day of the Dead ears. I awoke with a start and remembered — I have brand new mouse ears that I’ve never worn!

I have a Betsey Johnson suitcase I’ve never used for travel — well, I have three, really. A hard shell, a duffel and a hot pink hard shell one.

In any event, I use the duffel for Orlando trips now.

But I haven’t been in the multicolor skulls hard shell in a hot minute.

Went straight to that. Found not only two dozen sugar skull shirts and tanks with tags on them … but the ears I literally dreamed of. PLUS two sugar skull tops from Epcot, with tags.

JACKPOT.

I ran straight to Postmark and eBay to see what I could sell them for.

But from the luck I’ve (not) been having with my other NWT items (and goddamn people, I have SETS. Like bras and pantaloons. You should appreciate my shallow shopaholic-ness!), I thought fuck it — wear them all.

And I have been.

I was a lot skinnier then. But Disney is generous with its sizing. Literally everything I have is a medium; only my medium France Pavilion tank is still sitting in that suitcase and that’s because I am pretty sure it’s for kids, oof.

Anyway I got to thinking about how I left Mom and Kates in the car when I bought the Day of the Dead ears.

How annoying that must have been for them … while I was the one annoyed that I had to shop at lightning speed because the car was running.

I think a lot about that stuff now. I don’t mean or want to. Mom was always just so glad that I ran errands for us and I had no problem buying everything we wanted (more or less).

Now that I have an over 30ish body (ahem), I get her being quite happy to hang out with the cat.

Currently.

I also feel bad that she never felt she could do the parks. Believe me, she couldn’t. I’ve been tossed around on enough safaris and boat rides and kiddie coasters to know she wouldn’t have been able to walk for a month afterward.

A friend was trying to hint without pissing me off that isn’t it cool that you get to do all this stuff now.

Like well yeah what else am I going to do with my time and money. Buy property or expand my mouse ears collection?

I know what I pick.

Anyway I was just on eBay pricing some merch I can’t find in the parks anymore. And I wonder if I was always preparing to become a Disney Adult.

A friend said she loves my new “Disney era,” and you know what? I do too.

Anyway I ended up ordering a Disney Swiftie shirt off Etsy to satisfy my (budgetary) need to stay home but still be a Disney princess.

Oh speaking of staying home , Disney+ has some amazing tours of Disneyland to satisfy a park craving.

I would pay so much extra to be in these parks without patrons. Seriously the Rise of the Resistance has dialogue. I never heard it so clearly before!