My inner bitch has Tourette’s


So I’m standing in line at the eighth concentric circle of hell Wallyworld today, and I’m second in line. Or so I thought. The two girls in front of me wanted to be rung up separately, even though Girl #2 didn’t bother putting her two items on the conveyor belt. So she acts horrified that MY STUFF is in front of her, and she SHOVES it back and throws down her box of cookies and her Wet ‘n Wild lipstick.

So, because this is my luck, there is no price tag on the lipstick (that shit costs a dollar. Everybody knows that). So the flashing lights start going off because the cashier can’t proceed; five minutes pass and no assistance comes, so the cashier goes and gets another tube. She rings her up and I get a good look at the color of the lipstick. I can tell that it’s the same shade Girl #2 was wearing at the time.

My Inner Bitch has Tourette’s Syndrome, in case you weren’t aware. Because when I said, “Honey, hate to tell you, but that color doesn’t even look good on you,” I got a lot of giggles and appreciative stares from the cashier and the women in line behind me. Heh. She ignored me and went to go let that cheap-ass lipstick flake off somewhere else. 😉

I totally forgot about the song that inspired this post. Duh. 🙂 Go read the lyrics. Fabulous!

On iTunes: BT, “Dreaming”

5 Responses to My inner bitch has Tourette’s

  1. Kukini :

    Dawn, I really need to develop a better Inner Bitch. Kudos to you!!!

  2. Dawn :

    The original title of this post was going to be “In which Dawn’s inner bitch becomes an outie.” I’m sure I’m going to hell for this, but it needed to be said, after she acted like my items had cooties on them. 😉

  3. Anonymous :

    I have an inner bitch but she’s too much of a wimp to say anything ever. But I totally loved you giving it to Wet N’Wild girl. lol groovebunny

  4. apollonaire :

    You go girl.
    I can’t think of how many times I have wanted to say things like that to dumb bitches and I just held my toungue.

  5. Dawn :

    I know it doesn’t sound like it, but I really AM trying to be nicer to people. 😉 Karma not only bit me in the ass, but it also kept on chewing, after the last time I was mean to people. My ass is still sore from that time!