Caterwauling

The Options Pits

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

As a publisher, I spend a lot of time agonizing over brand identity. What is my overarching brand, how do I promote/preserve it, are my products/services continually fulfilling our mission, and are my direct reports walking/talking/breathing their individual brands as they fit within the greater franchise?

These are the things that put me to sleep during the day and keep me awake at night.

I’m not complaining — I’m in my element. This is the career path I was meant to take.

But it doesn’t come without some loss of brand identity of my own.

And that frustrates me sometimes.

I had my own “thing” I’ve been known for, for many years. I am actually pretty much an idiot when it comes to finance, but I know options like nobody’s business.

So, my knowledge base contains things that 99% of investors will never, ever learn about or use. Which makes me VERY marketable. And, as I say, that’s why I command the medium bucks!

However, I’ve always operated at somewhat of a deficit. I learned options the hard way — without knowledge of the stock markets in general. I’ve been trying to back-and-fill and spackle the holes in my financial brain for years.

But it was OK — I was always “The Options Goddess.” Any idiot can talk stocks with you. You wanna construct a broken-winged butterfly or an iron condor? I’m your girl.

And … I now have NO USE WHATSOEVER for this knowledge.

Sure, I can open up a trading account and do it myself. But I’m lazy. 🙂 I guess I always expected I would work with famous options traders like I did before.

And while I’ve always been the options expert on staff, I’m in a place where I know more about them than the actual options experts we pay. Which is fine. But I feel like that part of my brain is atrophying — I don’t use my options knowledge that much anymore.

Sure, I dust it off when I flip into “editor” mode. But as publisher, I am really trying to get out of the day-to-day and eventually just be a consultant on the editorial instead of playing all the instruments in the band when I have records to sell and concerts to book!

So anyway, when I proposed we do something options-ish, I was given a green light. And then a red light.

And a part of me died. Not because my so-called authority was, gasp, challenged. But because I thought my stupid little project would keep my widdle options brain sharp.

And I came to realize in a big way that I’m not “Options Goddess” anymore. I mean, sure I can and probably always will be. But that’s not my life’s purpose anymore. I have a broader universe of responsibilities that may include options someday. But it’s so much bigger than that now.

So, in branding my boys and my business, I have one of my many new purposes in life. And after sleeping on it, I’m OK with that.

Sure, I guess I caught the football and made my team win the Super Bowl. But I am consciously letting that moment go and moving on to own the team. Well, it’s a team in another town and it’s going to need a lot of work to run as efficiently as the one I came from. But THAT is where I get to make a difference. I get to construct my own winning team instead of playing one position.

Sure, I got good at my position. Great at it, actually. Well-known within a very broad circle, actually. Fuck it — I RULED, people.

I’ll rule again. Just in a different way. One that lets me work normal hours, call the shots and make other people into stars.

And after being a star, I know how it feels. And it’s a feeling I can’t wait to help others experience.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 29th, 2010 at 8:09 AM and is filed under Existential Meanderings. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.