Shop till you drop

*updated*

That’s what Shawn and I did on Saturday. I literally came home, curled up on my bed and fell into a four-hour coma.

Yesterday, I sat in the sun for one friggin’ hour, talking to my mom while I was at my favorite park, and I am one Crispy Critter today. Sheesh. My hair is blonde (without dye, thanks much) and everything else is red. And freckled. But mostly red and painful. Ouchie, ouchie!

Wrote a brilliant article last night on workplace violence. Here’s to wondering if the Veggie Patchers will be horrified by it. I may post it here at a later date, for anyone who’s thinking about going postal. 🙂

I have a screaming tension headache and migraine today. Yes, I have both. I nearly mowed down four pedestrians as I sped to McDonald’s for yet another culinary bounty of hell. I figured, shit, it was already 9:20 a.m. — why not be even more late to work? It never fails to amaze me, though, how many people will cross a six-lane highway with their heads in the clouds. Don’t they realize that I have no value whatsoever for human life? I think one of the guys I wanted to kill today, I nearly wiped him out last week as he again wandered across the street and stopped in his tracks when he heard my brakes squealing. Dumbass. If this headache doesn’t go away, I’ll probably wipe the sidewalks with him on my way home.

Now, off to fight with my Elite XL printer — three sets of tabloid-size proofs need to come out. This should take till noon. 🙂

Update

So we busted our humps to get a proof ready for this morning (almost a full day early), and Cruise Director called off. Gaah! He was the reason we hurried and ended up leaving out some stuff that wasn’t done. Something tells me that he’s going to exercise his pithy authority and not let me go to press on time this week — I still haven’t seen his column, nor any edits to the Word documents full of articles that I gave him to date.

My head is pounding. I think today is a go-home-early kind of day.

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