Monday morning potpourri

1. Shan’s getting married today! She and John are in Hawaii with her parents right now, for a tropical wedding/honeymoon escape. Woo hoo! Congratulations, friends!

2. Dreaded coming to work, even more so than usual. It’s going to be a mad, bad week. And with Shan gone, I literally have no desire to answer the phone when it rings.

3. Have been combing through resumes for days. I am sick of these asswipes who claim to be “perky and organized and upbeat and self-starters and detail-oriented.” Yeah, whatever. I claimed to be all of the above when I was interviewing, and you all know that I am NONE of the above. I told Demure that resumes, cover letters and interviews are just plain bullshit and that it would be nice to, for once, have someone tell me, “Look, I’m moody and I hate mornings, but I will be the best goddamn writer you ever hired.” I’d hire them in a heartbeat. She looked horrified.

4. Demure and I had a rather intense blowout on Thursday. Between her and King Kumquat, I am ready to walk out of here and never look back. Too bad the economy is so shoddy, because that’s probably the only thing keeping me in place right now. I literally collapsed into hysterics once I got to Shawn’s for drinks and haircuts that night. 🙂 He was watching me with a combination of amusement and fear — I was literally losing my mind, right on the couch, clutching a glass full of Bacardi 151. This workplace is killing me!

5. I did find four great candidates in my pile-o-resumes. Leadership is all about guiding the next generation of leaders, and I wanted to be sure to leave this place with someone who might actually be able to fill these boots that are made for walking. 🙂

6. My raise took effect this pay. I netted about $13, after all was said and done. Whoop-dee-friggin-shit.

7. We haven’t had coffee creamer in this fucking workplace since we let the facilities guy go last month. Gaaah, how can people DRINK that shit that we brew without creamer? I dumped a whole packet of hot chocolate mix into my coffee this morning — I am sufficiently wired now, thanks.

8. I need a fuck buddy again. Forget the deep relationship I dream of — it’s summer and my loins are aflame. Any takers? 😉


I got the funniest writing sample in with one of my resumes — this kid designed a newsletter called “Shit Out of Luck” and talked about a kid losing his virginity at the prom and another kid getting a cool job in a CD store. Funny as shit. Unfortunately, Demure and Frosty would murder me for even wanting to interview him, but at least I had some refreshing reading this morning. I mean, it takes balls to use the word “Cocksucker” when you’re applying for a job, eh? 🙂

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