My ex (from this time last year) forwarded an e-mail to me from his new girlfriend. LOL. I had to die laughing, of course, over the e-mail itself, but he wanted me to see the photos she had attached. She had this online slideshow of him shoveling her porch, riding a snowblower on her property, etc. I refrained from saying I’d only seen him work that hard to get laid, and that was it. So I looked at the photos. He and the girlfriend look perfect for each other. That’s about all I can say.

But what absolutely amused me was looking at his Yahoo! profile and comparing it to hers (her Yahoo! e-mail addy was visible on the e-mail, so you just know I went there before I even checked out the slideshow!). His hasn’t been changed since god was a little boy, and as usual, his marital status said, “Single and Looking.” Pffft. Yeah, right! His said that when I met him in 2001, too. It should’ve been “single and looking for anonymous sex,” but I digress. (I’m the pot calling the kettle black, and I know it. I wanted a relationship, too — just not with him.)

At any rate, her profile says she’s “in a committed relationship” (don’t be so sure, honey) and under Latest News: “FINALLY, I FOUND WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR!”

I hope it was a fiver tucked between the cushions of her Ford truck. Of course, it is entirely possible that, as he approaches 33 years of age, he’s ready to settle down, but I doubt it. Maybe, if she wanted a man with a decent talent for eating pussy, well, by George I think she’s got it!

*end bitter reminiscing and ranting*

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