I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Wednesday, September 11, 2002

My Tummy Hurts

I don't feel good. I know Mommy didn't sleep last night 'cuz we live real close to the Pentagon and for some weird reason, she was nervous that bad things might happen today. I'm not really sure what that's all about, but today's an ordinary day in my world. I stayed up with her last night, so I caught up on my sleep today and am a happy little kitty, except for my belly grumbling a little bit.

I love my Mommy, because I left a big, hot, steaming pile of poop in the middle of her cobalt blue bathroom rug last night, and she hugged me and fed me treats. Even when she saw the long brown skid marks I made while wiping my ass along the brand-new hallway carpet, she didn't get too mad. Perhaps it is because my deadbeat daddy gave her an anxiety pill that made her sleepy, but she wordlessly scrubbed the poop out of the carpet and threw the bathroom rugs into the washing machine. I will try very hard to not poop on the newly washed rugs but instead leave it safely hidden under Aunt Tiff's computer desk so that Mommy doesn't see it.

Mommy may be po' and can't afford to pay all of her bills, and that makes her sad sometimes, but she loves me a lot and does what she could to make sure I'm happy and feeling okay. Mommy rocks! Please, please make a donation to the Maddie is Hungry Fund so that Mommy can buy me different food that doesn't make me poop so much!!!

1 Comments:

At 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lmao

 

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