Singletons vs. marrieds

I’m going all “Bridget Jones” after being inspired by an uninspiring report by NBC4 on how singles get the sucky end of the deal sometimes. I wanted to rise above the whining that the people in the report did and, well, do some whining of my own. 😉

(Disclaimer: I am not talking about any place in particular — I’m just sharing some errant thoughts and observations from friends’ lives and from my “wild” past.)

Folks in the report brought up that they feel like, as singletons, their lives aren’t viewed as being as “important” as their colleagues’. Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve never felt that kind of discrimination in the workplace, although I did take it upon myself in many instances throughout the years to put in extra time because I knew others couldn’t. I figured, I needed the experience or, if I were lucky, the overtime. But as I get older and — let’s face it — wearier, I find that time is valuable. I love to work — don’t get me wrong. I love to just be doing something, even if it isn’t curing cancer or saving the world, just so long as I am making a difference in somebody’s world.

To that, I say that’s our own damn fault. Really. I don’t blame the married or otherwise coupled folks for the way I choose to spend my time. Sure, I’d rather be relaxing somewhere, but when you love what you do, there’s no harm in giving it your heart — especially if you don’t exactly have another human to whom to give that heart.

But I do feel strongly that singles don’t have it so good. I mean, I would be willing to shack up with somebody so that I can pay less rent money and actually have a few bucks left over from my expenses to actually enjoy a dinner out or spoil myself with something that I’ve always wanted. On the downside, there is often bathroom-sharing, doubled electricity bills and bigger supermarket totals, but to have a regular fuck buddy wouldn’t be such a bad tradeoff. 😉 Hell, I don’t even need a ring — unless it is of another variety. 😉

One thing they said in the news broadcast was about health care — how employers contribute more money on behalf of their employees with spouses and offspring. To that, I say that employers should, then, write us a check for what we didn’t get that our breeder friends did. Of course, one could argue that dragging pint-sized humans to the doctor with their snotty noses every two weeks deserves some kind of bonus, but until my day comes, I’d be happy to have that money dumped into my future privatized Social Security account (yeah, like that’ll ever happen, cowboy).

On the other hand, I can say that friends and I have been treated as second-class citizens because we haven’t shat out a kid or 10. I remember I was at a job when I was 27 and everyone treated me like a spinster because I hadn’t had kids yet (oh, the story that I didn’t choose to tell them …). By my age, most had had at least one and I can name several colleagues who had shat out three by that “old” age. And it irked the living hell out of me when there was no school and they’d bring in their brats to run rampant through the halls. Something that bothered me, but to a much lesser extent, was married folks who could get away with making personal calls because the calls were going to their spouses. Even if they were talking about grocery shopping or what color the sky was that afternoon, it was deemed acceptable because they were Married.

God forbid a single gal chat with her boyfriend or even her best gal pal about barhopping and have someone overhear it. In this case, I get where the whiners on the newscast felt that their lives were less important — what is important to the single person is often frowned upon by those who are settled and/or those who are charged with holding up decorum. Sure, some former “wild children” listen wistfully to your oh-god-my-underwear-was-hanging-off-the-chandelier stories as they wipe baby goo from their blazers, but let’s face it, the debate between scandalous thongs versus sweet boycut shorts has no business being discussed the same way women gather and talk about the size of their engagement rings.

And in an example of equality in life suckage regardless of committed status, I guess that neither one will ever get ahead in the rat race. One doesn’t get it based on not being taken seriously as a singleton; the other doesn’t get it based on the fact that she’s saddled with grown-up responsibilities. Related, I called two interviewers about why I didn’t get jobs with them (not that I cared — I got what I wanted. But I wanted to see what I could have done to improve my presentation). Simply put, I was told I was overqualified, and I was livid that others deemed that I wouldn’t commit to the long haul because of that. And it kind of burned my ass that people sit around judging you about your capabilities or your long-range plans when they don’t know anything about you. What would they have said if I had a munchkin at home? Would they have viewed me as responsible, or would they have turned me down based on, “Oh, she won’t be available round-the-clock, so no thanks”?

Let’s face it, I agree that being single sucks. My closing argument is that your primary role in life is as a worker as opposed to a lover. Not to say that we don’t have various secondary roles as children, siblings, friends, etc., but those aren’t always top-tier commitments. And when you’re broke and hungry, there ain’t nobody to take your miserable ass out to dinner. Also, when you’re feeling hideous and crappy, there ain’t nobody required by law to fuck your funky ass. On the other hand, we always have the possibility that things will change down the line for us and that, someday, we will be the ones who are the envy of everyone else. Let’s hope so, anyway! 😉

P.S. Oh, and if I do have kids, I cannot WAIT to force people to buy cases of Girl Scout cookies and other shit like others’ brats are selling for school/youth groups/churches/etc.! I have bought more unnecessary shit because more unnecessary progeny wanted an iron-on patch for a sash, I swear!

On iTunes: Tori Amos, “Taxi Ride”

One Lonely Response to Singletons vs. marrieds

  1. Anonymous :

    Health care costs are completely dependent on the plan. In our company singles pay about 1/4 what the family cost is, even if “family” means only yourself and spouse.