‘Did you deduct 16 pounds for your shoes?’

After more than a year and a half away from it, I went to the gym yesterday afternoon. I am stressed the hell out over money — my situation is worse than I’d imagined. In any event, you KNOW I had to be at my wits’ end to drag my ass to work out! 🙂

The only good thing that happened was that I stepped on a scale that’s clearly malfunctioning, because it said I’m 15 pounds lighter than I really am. Hah! And I didn’t even have to deduct for my sneakers!

Anyway, the gym odyssey was a minor fiasco. The machines are too close together, and I tripped over one, trying to get to another. Gracious. LOL. I totally went ass over teacups, although, admittedly, I fall so often that I have perfected my landing so as not to injure myself at all. But the grand voyage downward made me realize why I shouldn’t set foot outside the house. 🙂

Actually, that brings me to what was running through my head throughout my time there — nobody even noticed me fall. This is a good thing, of course, but the thing is, nobody noticed me in general (well, except the skeevy dude who kept following me around. Whee). That’s the thing when you’re carrying around some extra junk in the trunk (and other places) — you learn to become invisible. You fade into the background on purpose. It becomes second nature to not want to be seen.

I don’t always adhere to that mindset, though. I like short skirts and revealing shirts, much to the chagrin of conservative superiors and maybe even friends who believe anyone above a size eight should wear potato sacks in public. I like to wear makeup and whatever’s trendy — there’s no reason to fully succumb to society’s expectation that big girls go curl up and die in a corner so nobody has to look at them.

The reality of my life is that I will have to get a *real* job — and soon. And the one thing I’ve hated about that is that no matter how much talent, experience and potential I have, I do not look like I belong in the corporate world. Or anywhere, for that matter.

I’ve been reading “He’s Just Not That Into You,” which was quite the eye-opener. I basically don’t need to read past the part where overweight women are essentially told that they aren’t the marrying kind. I could have told you that without spending the $15 on the book. No guy wants a girl who outweighs him. And I respect that. It’s just irritating that these same guys really aren’t prizes themselves. Don’t they know that big girls give the best head ’cause they’re hungry? 😉

In any event, I haven’t smoked in almost a month. I’m one cranky lady, can ya tell?

On iTunes: Howie Day, “Collide”

6 Responses to ‘Did you deduct 16 pounds for your shoes?’

  1. Pratt :

    la la la..leisurely morning..looking at blogs..la la la..oh look here’s dawn’s ..la la la..drinking coffee..in mid sip when i get to the part about hungry while giving head..proceed to choke.la la la…coughing fit..lol

  2. Dawn :

    It’s true! 😉 And most of us are on protein diets anyway!

  3. Dave Tepper :

    My sister’s very heavy, and she has *never* had a problem finding a date or a boyfriend. In fact, she’s been with her guy (skinny little thing, I could break his wrist just shaking his hand) for 5 years now, and before him had more boyfriends in a year than I’ve had in my life.

    Then again, her motto is, “Guys dig chunky chicks,” and maybe it’s the mindset that makes the difference.

  4. Anonymous :

    Oh man, there are just so many ways to respond to a straight line like that. 😉

    As for the size issue, I think it’s gotten a lot worse in the last 10 or 20 years because shallow is “in”. Used to be, the person you are was important, now there are personal ads specifying “perfect teeth only need apply”. A nice smile hides the black soul beneath.

  5. Dawn :

    “A nice smile hides the black soul beneath.”Oh, man, talk about a picture saying a thousand words!

    Personal ads are amazing. When I read them (for entertainment, natch), it’s all older men looking for 18-year-olds (male OR female) who don’t eat (well, anything that contains food. LOL). I find it preposterous that society hates fat people, yet Americans are getting bigger by the day.

  6. Anonymous :

    apollonaire here.
    i need to get that book.
    to dash all hope of hugh.

    have a smoke girl, it won’t kill you….just yet anyway.