Caterwauling

I was up working late into the night, and now I don’t have a drop of motivation to spare. But I like that, though — the working when I want part. I swear I did more between 9 p.m. and midnight than I did the whole week prior.

Employee satisfaction is so underrated. I have a good friend who is a V.P. at one of the bigger competitors in my field, and she was asking today how other companies measure employee satisfaction. I got a good laugh out of that one. She is the ONLY one I know who gives a hoot about how the employees are feeling.

Well, I did, too. Too bad I ended up at all the wrong companies and didn’t just ask her for a job already. It *would* take me back to D.C., if so. Hmmm.

Nah. I like Florida too much to leave. Although I will take any and all offers to temporarily escape the sticky summer heat (which is already in full swing) and venture to any northern state. (Hint, hint…)

So, I mentioned I’m doing some work for a start-up. I love everyone but my main point of contact. Kind of makes me miss the crazy person at the job I left (that paid more). God, did I just type that?

And while I suck at corporate game-playing, a terse conversation circa 11:30 p.m. last night made me realize it’s time to sharpen my claws. I’m only going straight to the top from now on. I think somebunny’s feeling threatened that I was handpicked for my role. Which is so funny, really. I seem to get this all the time.

I don’t WANT your jobs, people. Me not agreeing with you is not a sign that I am going to take over. It’s me trying to make decisions that are best for the company without succumbing to the mind-numbing groupthink that people SAY they don’t want but, ultimately, DO … just as long as you think like the person who will reap the rewards.

That’s why I was picked for this. That I could go with the flow quite happily and then throw cold water on something when it’s going the wrong way. I can now say I’ve been in this business just as long as anybody else, and I’ve been with enough companies to know when things are working and when that landmine on the horizon will blow up if we don’t take a detour.

I was having a moment yesterday, amid a series of day-ruining occurrences, when I thought I missed going to a “real” job. And then I shook it off and realized I just missed the “stability,” as it were. (I know, what a joke, right?) But the knowing how much your next check will be, and on what day it will arrive. I don’t love the, “Oh hey, funding didn’t come through this month. Accept our love and gratitude for now, OK?”

What I need is something to look forward to. A trip to the Keys, a trip north to see friends, a juicy and forbidden tryst, a paycheck, a car that doesn’t stall out when you turn on the A/C that you’ve paid six times to have fixed, whatever. I need to move out of survival mode, a place where I admittedly used to thrive.

And I think I need employees. Or minions. Whichever. I tend to care more about them than myself, anyway. I can focus very well on helping people in their quest to help companies. Because while I remember the people in my path who made me crazy, I also remember the ones who gave me a helping hand or a much-needed psychological breakthrough when I needed it most.

I think I need to move to Europe and embrace the whole “Eat, Pray, Love” phenomenon. (I know that was Asia; I’d rather live in close proximity to Brie and Beaujolais.) I know nobody’s really happy over there right now, but at least they still make what little joy they have left a priority. Anyone wanna come?

This entry was posted on Monday, April 11th, 2011 at 9:39 AM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.