Resistance
Honest to God, this is the sign right by where I park my car. I have since changed parking spots. 🙂
Let’s say you had a choice among three things to pick from. You are ALWAYS going to think you picked wrong, aren’t you? Even though everything in you told you what choice to make … whether it was gut or logic or convenience or whatever … you are always going to stop and say, “WTF?”
Yeah, cognitive dissonance is setting in.
It’s not that I dislike anyone or anything. Quite the contrary — I am always pleased that, wherever I go, there are some truly extraordinary people whom I never would have met otherwise who become a big part of my life.
It’s just …. I used to be THE BOSS, you know? And I took a step back, which means doing all that stuff I used to delegate. That’s been a rough transition. 😉 Like, who me? *looks around* Shit!
I did this once before … stepping back in order to springboard forward. And in the long run, it may be a wise move, as it was when I reached the top of my food chain that my head got cut off. Maybe not having my head sticking out of the cube farm isn’t a horrible thing.
I just hope it’s enough for me.
I have been resisting the urge to shine. Which probably means I’ll end up on the non-employment (because unemployment implies getting benefits, which I never have) line again.
A former friend once gave a brilliant reference about me to a potential job. That individual said that I’m one of those people who sort of slides into a role unnoticed. But then when you go to figure out who’s getting all this stuff done, you realize your company WILL NOT RUN without me in it.
And that’s kind of what I’ve been doing. Just, feeling my way and finding my place. Making friends with the people who will help me get that stuff done. You know, the usual.
But after years of working with superstars … people who trust me in ways frankly they just shouldn’t (but they’ve never regretted it) … it’s weird to be backing-and-filling. Like, it took me a few weeks, but I popped off yesterday in my head with a “Don’t you people know who I am?”
And I realized, nope — they don’t. Because my dumb ass hasn’t been tooting my horn or showing any inclination of wanting to shine like I used to.
Hrmph.
I need therapy. Retail or otherwise.