(Mostly) smooth sailing from here

It’s my next-to-last day at the ranch. *sniffle* I wake up with a panic attack every morning, although not as intense now that I know I have a place to live. But still, I’ll probably be a little bit nuts until I start my next job. I don’t deal well with unemployment, even when I see the prize — gotta have it in my hand. Yes, I really do need to work on my faith, funny you should ask! 🙂

Speaking of housing, my beloved friend whom I’ll call “Vitamin D” because she looks after my emotional health, made me feel way better about losing out on the condo I wanted. The truth is, that was my utopia, to be high atop the world with a stunning view of the water. But it was also in a VERY posh part of town that doesn’t exactly cater to my age group. She was worried that I’d be so enthralled with staying at home or walking solo along the Intracoastal that I wouldn’t actually get out and meet people. At least now, I have something to work toward as opposed to getting everything I want, right now.

And my apartment that I did take ain’t all that, either. So I figure, I’ll live there for a year and really, truly get to know the area and move where I want, when I’m ready. And if all else fails, Mel promises that there’s always a place for me in California!

In news about other travelers wandering this world, my beloved right-hand is in town and she took me and another of our beloveds out for dinner and drinks last night. We had a blast and a lot of overdue girl talk. We mused how sad it is that it takes one of us leaving town to be able to get together. But whatever the conditions are that force it, we’re glad for the time we have together.

Tonight is my official goodbye party. I hand-picked a very small, fabulous group and I can’t wait to spend a few hours with the people I love the most. Let’s just say it now, I expect I will be sobbing. Even some of my famous friends are taking time out of their busy schedules to hang with me. Which, how lucky can a girl be?

There were other people I could and possibly should have invited, but this is the group I can be 100% myself in front of, so they will deal with all my whining and crying and still love me anyway. 🙂

I’m having a slight wardrobe malfunction today, which is a peril of wearing new clothes. Genius here thought it would be a great idea to wear red skivvies with “Please Me” tramp-stamped in black on the back … under khaki pants. (I bought the gutchies after I saw “Zumanity” in Vegas.)

But it doesn’t seem to be noticeable … at least, not if anyone can tear their eyes away from the inordinate amount of cleavage showing through my new blouse!

Note to self, just because you fit back into “normal” sizes again, doesn’t mean you SHOULD buy everything that fits. Love, the Half-Sized Goddess.

I’d love to say it’s all smooth sailing from here (despite the fact that I need to start packing and deal with the bajillion other details that come with moving out-of-state), but the roomie is back on her kick that she’s going to stay here. Which, fine. Really. I invited her because I figured I may not love having Mommy living with me, but I can at least keep an eye on her; who the hell knows what kind of trouble she’ll get into on her own and I can’t perform a rescue operation from 1,000 miles away.

But now she’s upset that she’s about to get health insurance at her job, and I’m taking it all away in my quest for a better life. Sigh. Believe me, I know how she feels. But am I supposed to reverse the whole works for this? I figured her health would improve while living a mile from the coast, but what the hell does my selfish ass know?!?!

I’m at my capacity for worry. Right now, it’s time to celebrate what I keep forgetting is a very exciting time in my young-ish life. Good thing I have amazing colleagues and friends who are the first to remind me that the time for working hard is winding down, and the time for playing hard and clearing up my head between gigs is the most-important thing I can do.

I just wish I could take them all with me. But you can never really leave your family. (Case in point, mine lives with me no matter how far away I move to get away!) And while I hope my new family loves/appreciates me as much as this one does, and vice versa, I will always know what it was like to shine and I’ll be grateful to those who prepared me for everything I’m going to do next.

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