‘Marlboro is keeping the county homicide rate low!’

So I had a doctor’s appointment today. Which of course brings being wrapped in a napkin — i.e., the paper-gown top that doesn’t close in the front and the life-sized napkin to hold over your cooch as they talk to you. And did I need to be undressed for anything more than the EKG? No. Misery.

Anyway, of course they got on me about the occasional smoking. (Hey, I think a pack a month is pretty damned good!) I said, look, Marlboro is what’s keeping the homicide rate in Montgomery County so low. Why judge?

They also got on me about not exercising other than sprinting to the ladies’ room occasionally. I said hey, I have those hand-sized barbells in my office, but I have to keep them hidden lest I whale one at a deserving noggin. Again, see death rate in MoCo: low because I’m not contributing to it!

It wasn’t all fun and games. I had a reason for going in, other than to get a physical and tetanus shot. Unfortunately, we couldn’t just fix what I wanted to get fixed. In fact, I got the name of a specialist and a, “Surgery might be your only option.” Because that’s just what I need to hear before I’ve had any coffee for the day.

Anyway, I’m staring at the phone number right now and trying to grow enough of a set to make the call. As the doc said, I’m too young to be dealing with this crap — might as well get it fixed now. And I said it was hard enough taking the time off work to attend this appointment, and you think I need SURGERY? Don’t you know Ye Olde Employment Establishment is going to put my laptop in my hands on the operating table?

I so don’t have time for this shit. Of course, that’s why it’s progressed this far. *sigh*

Isn’t it enough to just be good at your job — do I have to surmount impossible obstacles with relationships and health, too? Can’t I just skate by, once in awhile?!?!?

2 Responses to ‘Marlboro is keeping the county homicide rate low!’

  1. Lachlan :

    Obviously, I don’t know what’s going on, but GET IT TAKEN CARE OF. Your job is not your life, and trust me when I say that shit will be there tomorrow- or in two weeks when you’ve recovered.


  2. Mel :

    I had a major health snafu about 5 years ago and I couldn’t put if off. Just deal with it and you may notice improvements in other parts of your life because of it.