Liveblogging ‘American Idol’

Well, last night I ripped apart the girls. Tonight, I give it to (heh) the boys. …

Gedeon — Is he gay? I mean, he reminds me of some guy I went out with in college who *claimed* he wasn’t (a musical theater major. Go figure). He talked about “his women” and mentioned his grandmother. Heh. 😉 Anyway, no big deal. He’s good.

Chris — (*underwear change*). I mean, first he did Bon Jovi (“Wanted”). Then Fuel (“Hemorrhage”). Now Seether (“Broken”). Not his best performance (it seemed like he had to start competing with the track playing in the background, but he got back his control quickly), but seriously, if he can sing with my thighs wrapped around his neck, he doesn’t have to do anything extra to impress me.

Kevin — He’s really good. But didn’t we do the Clay Aiken thing like two seasons ago? I have a soft spot for nerds, especially one who’s so surprisngly pleasant to listen to, but “Starry Starry Night” didn’t make me throw off the panties I had to get to replace the ones I ruined while watching Chris. Next.

Interview with Taylor Hicks. I like a guy with a little gray hair. He’s cool when he’s talking and not exclaiming “Whoo!” every two seconds.

Bucky — During his interview, he said he has a twin brother named Rocky. Sweet Jesus. Reminds me of when I was covering a case in family court a few jobs ago and the kids being fought over were Frosty and Misty. (Wendy’s and Dairy Queen? Lord, I’m hungry.)

Oh yeah, Bucky. I LIKE him. I have no idea why. He’s got that gravelly, sexy-ass tone to his voice. *rowr* He’s very consistent with his country-rock thing. Ooh, Rocky’s on stage with him — wow! They’re friggin’ identical. (*squelching visions of being in a Fucky/Cocky sandwich. …*)

Will — *snooze* This is going to sound terrible, but maybe I’ve dated too many Jewish boys in my day (and not successfully), but I cannot get into him. Well, that and he’s jailbait and all. He did JT’s “How Sweet it Is” which was less sweet than stale. He was good when he was a face among hundreds. Now? Not so much.

Taylor — He just did his interview in a bunny suit. It was actually kind of cute (corny, but cute). I think he’s really bringing it tonight. He’s like some voodoo-practicing, spirit-guided old woman from the Bayou — and I actually mean that in a good way. 🙂 He’s MOVED while he’s performing, like he’s channeling Michael MacDonald crossed with a mime. He rules. Simon said he could single-handedly kill the music video industry, though, with those moves, but he gave him his props. See you next week, Taylor. Even if you dance like “Elaine” on “Seinfeld”!

Elliott — We’re rooting for him here in D.C. by proxy because he’s from Richmond, Va. He’s doing Bryan Adams’ “Heaven.” Not bad at all, actually. He’s good with the runs and stuff. He’s got to stop that white-boy dancing though — it’s like he’s got a Monchichi motif going on. But he made Paula spill her drink, so he’s all right in my book.

Ace — God, he’s pretty. I mean, I’d be uncomfortable around him because he’s just so freaking pretty. There’s something about him that seems vapid, but he lights up when that camera is on him. He’s like a young Kip Winger, which, *fans self.* Boyfriend needs to lose the beanie onstage, though. Holy falsetto, though — he’s really rockin’ an MJ tune. He’s easy on the eyes and ears. He’s definitely going to be in the top five of this competition, maybe even top three.

Tomorrow — elimination round and Bo Bice performs. 🙂 I call eliminations for Kinnick, Melissa and Will, but the other boy will be a wild card. Tension and drama! *squee!*

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