‘It’s like Nashville, with a tan’

*disclaimer: If you don’t want to read existential whining, skip to the “There’s Hope Yet” section at the bottom.

My beloved Vitamin D left me a voicemail to remind me that I haven’t blogged in a while. I tell ya, I know. I have fired up this window two or three times in the last week. And then closed it, thinking better of it.

I was starting to get into a routine, but it’s pretty much all blown to hell right now. Between managing talent (there’s a full-time job right there. And no, I’m not exaggerating. And that’s just referring to one of several!) and destroying/revamping processes while I’m learning them, I’ve got my hands full. The “routine” stuff is saved for stupid o’clock, when I can flip into cruise-control mode because the stuff I’m good at, I can do in my sleep. Thank God for small favors.

And that’s why I haven’t blogged. Because it sounds like complaining. When it’s not. Just adjusting to yet another new reality, that’s all.

“I told her I ain’t so sure
About this place
It’s hard to play a gig in this town
And keep a straight face
Seems like everybody’s got a plan
It’s kind of like Nashville with a tan.”

— Shawn Mullins, “Lullaby

Worked a full day yesterday. The only reason I went to bed at midnight (the day’s highlight? A trip to Wal-Mart!) was because I was tapped out. I wanted to keep going, as I hate having to bother people on Mother’s Day with shit I just couldn’t finish/get to. But I know my limits … my limits are VERY familiar territory. 😉

Now, the rational Goddess who made a brief appearance in my life during the past six weeks I’ve spent in Floriduh whispered in my ear that it’s my weekend, too. But I’m in that phase where if I even suspect that I’ll have to jump, the trampoline is ready and waiting. Again, not complaining — just responding to my own nature, and trying to strike a balance between going with the flow and fighting it.

I mean, I’m actually sitting here, debating not going to church so I can finish something. Can you believe it? No worries — God will win out. I may just hustle to hit the early session so I can come back sooner. Fun. Not that I have any mother’s day plans. Every day in my life is mother’s day. 🙂

Ever notice how no one questions why the word “mother” was put in front of “fucker”?

“She still lives with her mom
Outside the city
Down that street about a half a mile
And all her friends tell her
She’s so pretty
But she’d be a whole lot prettier
If she smiled once in a while.”

There’s Hope Yet

Well, if anyone guessed that the OEH doesn’t have a job yet, ding-ding-ding you win a prize. And with each day that passes, my temperature gets hotter.

What’s sad is that a colleague is looking for someone to take care of her grandmother. Pay’s good. I asked what are the odds that OEH can come and work for them. She was so nice about it, but she said, “Yeah, the stories you’ve told aren’t exactly inspiring.”



Her old job called her to say she can come back anytime. I said get them to put in writing that they’ll pay a respectable wage and I’ll make that trip happen. Which, she won’t.

Why? She can’t compose an e-mail.

Yeah, I got an earful that she can’t apply for jobs because she can only hit “reply” — she doesn’t know how to generate a new e-mail. Or, in her words, “You never take the time to show me anything!”

Read: It’s MY fault. Yay!

Anyway, the OEH DID show some initiative and called someone on Craigslist about a cleaning job. Whereupon she was asked if she’d be opposed to doing “a light oil massage.”

Which, she interpreted as (and responded with), “Oh, sure, you mean with Pledge, right?”


Now she’s scared to call anyone else. My God, she’ll NEVER get a job at this rate!

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