Bye Felicia, 2015 edition


Last year I think I resolved to not blame everyone so much. Self included. 

I think I would get a C-plus for my efforts. So let’s not continue this failure fest again

I need to go back to my achievable list.

  • Get more Starbucks stars. 
  • Drink booze five times a week. 
  • Shave my legs more than once a month. 
  • Make out with inappropriate people. 
  • Consume my body weight in lentil chips. 

Done x 5 and no balls will drop for another three hours!

I was chilling with one of the boys recently. He said I am allowed to have fun. He said he can tell I used to know how but have forgotten. 

He also is mad at what I make. I didn’t tell him but when he gave me a number and said over/under and I said under, he said time to aim higher. 

So I’m feeling inadequate right now. 

I wanted to take a course this week but I was too busy with work. I need to master a new skill or else I’m going to die. 

At least I didn’t blame it on anyone. Progress!

Maybe I got the resolution wrong. It’s not a matter of blame but accountability. Nobody gives a fuck what I do. Least of all me. 

What if instead of wishing for shit, I made plans to achieve it?

I think we should all be mandated to meet with a life coach before year-end or else we aren’t allowed to pass “go.”

If I would have to stay in 2015 until I leveled up, fuck yeah I’d figure something out. 

As it stands, my resolution is to adopt a mindset of “plenty.” Plenty of time and money and energy to move, get a car, get up north and buy a plane ticket to Europe for 2017 at the latest. 

And to watch a little less “Housewives.” Which, I have a better shot at shaving my legs twice a month instead of once. But, you know. Gotta aim for something. 

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