Feeding time at the zoo

Dear Oxygen Thieves,

You will not rob me of my happiness today. Or ever. Perhaps it is possible that you really are that dumb, and your mama didn’t raise you right. And thus, I offer a blanket forgiveness to you for not being quite the person I was reared to be.

Eat me.


I was listening to “Law of Attraction” in the car this morning.

(Caveat: I MEANT to buy “Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t” but wasn’t paying attention to the author names. Rats.)

Anyway, the one I got isn’t too terrible, although I’m not loving the weird accent the female author (Esther Hicks) takes on as she’s channeling “Abraham,” the collective name for a group of folks on a higher plane of existence who adopted that name because they are teaching how to reconnect with your higher self.

In particular, the basic premise is that you attract what you think about. (Am thinking about hard, throbbing … er, wait, what was I saying?!!?) Ahem. Even if it’s bad stuff. Meaning, when I think, “What is that dumb ‘ho going to do to piss me off today?” I am thus attracting whatever antics the dumb ‘ho might be thinking up. And I get angrier and angrier that I cannot get a gun without a waiting period. 😉

Instead, I should be envisioning this person, if not being helpful for the first and perhaps only time in her miserable little life, then at least not pissing me off.

It took until Song 8 on the first CD for me to actually get into the message, and I left it on how you can’t lose weight when you use the word fat or how you can’t attract money when you consider yourself to be poor. It makes sense, because the people I know who preach prosperity aren’t exactly rolling their pennies to buy the iPhone on Friday.

Anyway, instead of saying this day is going to be a waste, I’m simply going to say that it started off with some challenges but goodness and light will triumph in the end.

Damn it.

2 Responses to Feeding time at the zoo

  1. Erica :

    I get all that in theory, but it is sooooo hard to do. All that positive thinking all the time. I’ve gotten as far as trying to spin it in my brain, but remaining skeptical. So I guess if I’m not actually believing it, it’s not going to work, eh?

  2. Caterwauling :

    […] Anyway, in my quest to acquaint myself with my inner being, I was listening to my audiobook today and learned that we primarily view ourselves as others do, not as we actually are. I’ve always been a subscriber to the Anais Nin school of thought, in that “We don’t see things as they are, but as we are.” But maybe the two can coexist — we see other things through our own eyes, but we seem to default to regarding ourselves as others view us. […]